Just needing to vent out everything. It's better than crying. I'm 1200 miles away from someone who needs me right now. Our friend died and she feels like her world came apart. I love her so much, and I can't do much of anything for her. She's helped me and loved me these past 8 years and I'm stuck here wishing to be there.
I'm tired of BS going on here. We keep giving and giving to this person and she f***s us over every time. I'm tired of getting hurt because I keep thinking the best of her and she shows the worst. I'm sad and lonely , but her s*** consumes so much of everything in us all that I just pretend to be fine. I'm not fine, I'm faking.
A month from now was supposed to be a great time for me. Those plans are gone now. Scattered like grains of sand. I keep smiling, and telling everyone "it's no big deal. I've been hurt before, I'm fine". So soon I hope I will be fine. Until then I'm gonna fake it til I make it.