"Accept me... or fuck off... mmmkay??"  leahme
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Über-Meister
1754 points
19/F/Drayton Valley, Canada
Join Date: Nov 2006 |
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Just my journal, my rantings and my place to vent...
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Omg he was soooo sweet today...! I'm so glad he's mine  | |
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Best Valentines day of my life  
I love my boyfriend!! | |
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Soooo I know someone on TFS knows me and my parents. And I know you're probably going to go running to my Dad as soon as you read this (like you did with the LIAR poem) Well f**k you. I don't care anymore. You can go ahead and go running to my dad about this, but I mean every word in this stupid journal entry. You can go straight to hell, whoever you are!!   | |
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A list of flowers and their meanings I got from:
link [www.pioneerthinking.com] | |
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So....
Today I was walking down the hallway when one of the mentally retarded people in our school walked past and I got really freaked out. My friend asked me why I was so scared, and I told her that I had been BITTEN (yes, BITTEN) by a handicapped person when I was litle and now I have mental-peoplephobia. Then we both got to wondering what the acutal word for mental-peoplephobia is so I started looking up phobias on the internet and I found a whole bunch. These are all mine, I copied and pasted them from link [phobialist.com] | |
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Every girl has to rant, rave, and babble on about her boyfriend every once in a while... Bear with me lol
By the way I don't acutally expect anyone to read this, it's mostly some stuff I just wanted to get off my mind lol | |
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So this is the story I wrote for English... a lil gory, but I like it  | |
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ALL I'VE GOT....
A mom that cries
A dad that screams
Sisters I can't protect
A boyfriend that doesn't call
Friends that fade away
A dog that doesn't listen
A body that isn't perfect
A mind that drifts
A broken family...
AND I CAN'T FIX ANY OF IT!!
And I have a mirror that reftlects someone I don't know
That used to love life
And laugh
Every day
She used to read romances
Dreaming of that perfect guy
She used to play soccer in the front yard with her family
Bonding with the people she loved
She used to respect herself
And stood firm with her high standards
She used to try in school
Honours were expected
But now....
She hates her life
And cries
Every night
She reads horror books
Thinking about people with a worse life than her
She sits in front of her computer
Avoiding her family
She lets guys use her body
So she can think she's valuable
To somebody
Now she sits in school and daydreams
About a better time....
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I am made of steel
Unbreakable
Unhurtable
Invulnerable
I can stay strong and unhurtable as long as I don't show a weakness
As long as I don't hope
As long as I don't trust
As long as I don't love
I CAN NEVER BE BROKEN!!!!
But what if somone out there cares enough to try to break through all that??
To make me hope
To make me trust
To make me love....
Then what will I do??? | |
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She wasn't where she was supposed to be
An hour had gone by
And I didn't know where she was
My stomach started to knot
As my Daddy and I drove through the streets
Empty....
We checked all the parks
She wasn't there
I started to feel worse and worse
How can I protect her when she's not here??
I'm her big sister!!
I NEED TO PROTECT HER
From all the bad things in the world
Going on an hour and a half
I haven’t' found her yet
Calling her name
Wanting to hear her annoyed "Whaaaat?!?!"
Asking people in the streets
Trying to convince myself
'This is a busy neighborhood
Nobody could’ve taken her......
Right??'
The clock is ticking
She’s still not here
I’m starting to picture her
Lying battered and bloody
In someone’s basement
Screaming, crying for help
And I’m not there to protect her
Not there to save her
I’ve failed her……….
I’m almost ready to cry
I’ve failed my role as her big sister
Her protector
Suddenly…. The cell phone rings
My Daddy picks it up
Relief washes over his face
“We found her”
Then all the fear I was feeling was gone
Replace by rage
I’m seeing red
I can’t hear
We drive up to her
I jump out of the truck before it stops moving
Screaming I’m going to kill her
Dad yells ‘Erica, run!’
She screams and jumps into the truck
Curls into a ball
And begs me not to hit her
I’m still screaming
Raise my fist to hit her
And…..
Stop
She stares at me as I fall to the seat of the truck
And, for the first time in forever,
I cry
I sob as I whisper into her ear
“Don’t ever do that again…
Don’t ever do that to me again
I wasn’t there
You weren’t here
I can’t protect you when you’re not here
I need to protect you…
NEVER AGAIN!!” | |
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