"Have a good day!"
"Happy posting!"
"I'm so glad you're at school today!"
...Shut the FUCK up. I don't want to deal with all this right now. Everyone's so cheerful, like someone didn't just DIE. I think my friends are worried about me. I'm hardly talking today. Care to guess why? Still, I shouldn't be wallowing in self pitty like this. I can't imagine what it's like for my cousins, who lost their father, or my aunt, who lost her husband, or my grandparents, who lost their son, or my father and other uncle, who lost their brother. Yes, I shouldn't be feeling like I should get special treatment or something like that. I just don't want to talk to people right now. And I could defenatly live without the cheerful comments oblivious people insist on saying with a goofy smile planted on their faces. Most of the people don't realize what happened because they're strangers. Others, my friends, don't know what's going on, but are still under the impression they can cheer me up. I'm not sure I want to be happy again. Every time I laugh or smile, I feel guilty knowing my uncle can never do that again, or see his loved ones happy. Now I guess I can actually consider myself emo with what I'm feeling right now. Most people will say, "It's normal!" but I still feel like I should be grieving. It's almost like I'm forcing myself...
I had a small break-down in Tae KwonDo last night. And I was angry at myself... I don't know why. Maybe I thought I was weak. Maybe I thought I should've had the breakdown sooner. Right now, though, it's really hard to realize I'm never going to see him again. Never. I think I'm scared to admit that I lost someone. Other times, whenever I've told someone I felt like I was just wanting to be the center of attention. I don't want to convey that to my friends.
...And I should really not be writing this in cla** because this really annoying guy has a tendancy to read over my shoulder.