So, here's the deal, my family (mainly my aunt and grandmother) want me to do my deb next year, and it sounds kinda fun, but it's not something that I would ever choose to do on my own, but it's family tradition and they all did their's and I want to make them happy, so I agreed to do it... That's all good and fine, but I'm going to need a partner, where in the world am I going to find a partner? My aunty suggested that we get one of my uncle's to do it, which is fine by me, but where are they going to find the time to take a 1 and a half to 2 hour drive to come to a dance practice at least once a week? I don't want to be a burden, I don't want to make them feel like they have to do it, I'd rather have no partner than an unwilling partner..

And then there's the problem of the dress, my aunty wants to make it, and although I love her and she's not that bad at making dresses (she made my dress for the social afterall) she's not great either, and if I'm going to do this for them I want to have a part of it that I can control, and to do that I'd like to buy my dress, it's not that I'm not grateful that my aunty wants to do this for me, I really am, it's just that I want the dress to be perfect, I want to feel and look beautiful and I don't see that happening if she makes it, I'll be stressing the whole night that it will fall apart (she likes to take shortcuts and leave bits of material out that she feels unnecessary) or it doesn't look as good as she thinks (I did it all through my social). But then comes the problem of telling her, she's so excited about doing this for me and I don't want to upset her, I mean, I should be able to deal with it if everyone else is happy, right? And it's not just that I'm worried about how the dress will look, I'm worried about how much it's going to cost, I think it would be cheaper in the long run to just buy something and at least that way we know that it will be ready on time and there won't be any last minute rush or anything...

Oh, yeah, and then there's the mum problem, do I tell her about it? Do I 'forget' to tell her? I know it would be immature of me not to tell her and at least give her the chance to come, but we haven't exactly been on the best terms lately and I'm afraid she'd cause trouble, she always does, it's like when she's around my dad or me she can't help but to be a bitch. So, I don't really want to tell her about it, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings by not telling her, and I know it would mean a lot to my grandmother and aunty if I made up with her, even though they're not related to her, they think having her in my life would be more beneficial to me...

I dunno, my life just feels like one big f**king drama and I'm sick of it...

But I'm probably just being stupid and selfish and over stressing about the whole thing, I should just suck it up. It's making them happy and that's all that matters... Right?