Oh man I am so excited! Today is...DOUBLE POINTS DAY!!! I am going to get SO many points on this post because it is going to be so freaking long even size one font. I mean..Hey! I have a story!

So. Back in the day I used to walk to school uphill both ways shoeless in the snow after working in the mill for six pence a month. That was when-Oh hell, I still walk like that. Maybe thats why my feet are black...YEAH! Black from frostbite, cause the school was a mile away, well, the hill was a mile high so that would be two miles to school and two miles back...So that would be a four mile round trip. In the snow, shoeless. Did I mention that? I think I did, yes. After working in the mill for six pence a month.

ANYWAY, that was back in the day when I wore an onion on my belt, 'cause that was the custom then. Oh, speaking of customs, they had some strange customs. Like knocking on the doorpost before entering a room. Or hanging a pair of underwear on the doorknob when your with a woman. If you had a picture of a woman you hung a sock on the doorknob. NOW people hang hats for a picture of a woman and a tie for a woman.

Anyways, that was back in the day when I walked uphill both ways shoeless in the snow after working in the mill for six pence a month. Back then in school we learned some of the most important skills one needed to know. Like how to tell a story that doesn't go anywhere for several paragraphs. Much like those Star Wars movies. Did I ever tell you that when Episode One came out there were people lined from the movie theater to the school? That must have covered ten hills and well over twenty miles. I didn't know there were that many people in our town. Of course, we suspected that some of them were Sewer Dwellers and people from Wisconsin. You can never trust those types of people, 'cause they didn't wear onions on their belts, which was the custom back then. Now where was I? Oh yes.

Now, when people all wear onions on their belts, they all smell alike. Like onions. So there was no need to shower or take baths. It actually saved hundreds of thousands of dollars of water bills. And back then water bills were only a ha'penny a gallon, so that was a lot of gallons saved I tells ya! People even had sexual intercourse with a garland of onions around their necks! Imagine that!

So where was I? Oh yeah.

So. Back in the day I used to walk to school uphill both ways shoeless in the snow after working in the mill for six pence a month. That was when-Oh hell, I still walk like that. Maybe that's why my feet are black...YEAH! Black from frostbite, cause the school was a mile away, well, the hill was a mile high so that would be two miles to school and two miles back...So that would be a four mile round trip. In the snow, shoeless. Did I mention that? I think I did, yes. After working in the mill for six pence a month....