I came very close to cutting my wrists last night. I was perfectly happy most of the day then all of a sudden I felt very sad for some reason, and not just a normal sad, overwhelmed, and lost. Then I was crying for no reason, and before I know what had happened I had cut myself pretty bad... My life has been really happy for the last few months, but I just feel so...IDK, just numb, and then I feel devastated for some reason... I love my life, but sometimes I just feel so isolated from people, I don't know how to deal with it I know I shouldn’t hurt my self/ I won’t hurt myself, but sometimes it seems like the only way to make sense out of everything.

I miss my lover, and I miss that sense of peace I used to have.
I’m still trying to find God, and purpose in my life, but the whole prospect of this dream becoming real is growing even more bleak with every passing day...