De-religionaized

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juansmith

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25/NA/Inside of your Mom, California
Join Date: Mar 2008

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juansmith
TFS Journal

De-religionaized
April 22, 2008 @ 02:05:34 am

The more and more I seem to think about things and in my never ending quest to "salvation", I have come upon a huge hurdle/wall. as some of you may know I was born into a catholic family. i was excommunicated for having free will if you will. Actually for asking too many questions and saying that there was no need for the Priest/Father to be a mediator between God and I. I have been to many churches looking for a place to fit in. and I did in many but in my heart i just felt uneasy. Why? because I just never felt the "feeling" of God touching me. I never felt the weird tingly sensations that many claim. I never received the word and never spoke in tongues. I have debated err argued with many on this sit about my lack of beliefs or the level of my lack or the uncertainty of my lack. The more and more I continue my studies in religion. I keep finding out things that blow me away. Now if I were a traditional American Christian I would call it blasphemy and dismiss it as the devils work but i think i know better and am open enough to take in possibilities. I Continue to ask myself why so I even believe in a higher being/God? and the question still haunts me. Is it because I was brought up in it and subconsciously I am disposed to believe it? i just cannot continue to fool myself. as much as it hurts to acknowledge defeat or anything against one's self. I think I am becoming more of an Atheist than a Theist. I'm currently walking a thin line between Agnosticism and Atheism. I'm Unsure but I keep having that this feeling is just a subconscious one and that I shouldn't. One thing for sure though. Christianity In my mind is nothing more than any other religion who claims to be the one. just another means for control. So i guess all of you devout Christian may say I'm condemned but that's just Your opinion there's no fact to that and I will continue to respect others opinions as long as they do not intrude on my own.

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adrinachrome Über-Minister 15466 points	April 22, 2008 @ 02:09:34 am 0 Kudos
	we can only be what we are JS, people cant expect us to be more, and neither can we. Faith is a fickle thing for me as well, so i try to push it out of my mind and continue being who I am.

juansmith Über Master Debater 8908 points	April 22, 2008 @ 02:33:18 am 0 Kudos
	Yeah good point. I was already determined to do so . I just decided to drop the pack with the religion issue. I will still be me and continue to do as I see fit.

adrinachrome Über-Minister 15466 points	April 22, 2008 @ 02:39:59 am 0 Kudos
	It would be a whole lot easier if theology wasn't so damned interesting!

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