"Let it be known that I ROCK!!"  juansmith
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Über Master Debater
8834 points
25/NA/Inside of your Mom, California
Join Date: Mar 2008 |
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| Not many of you here know but I've been going through some very tough times during this enlistment. I have been waiting for a surgery for almost a year. So I finally had it and boy am I miserable. I've suffered through repeated cases of TT.. testicular torsion. and for us guys that is a very sensitive subject and a very painful state. I would never wish this upon anyone.. any who I've been getting these attacks if you will since I was 13.. basically I have big balls.. not bragging because in this case it really works against me.. and has caused me sever medical issues. And the way the Marine Corps and the Navy go about it,, things will always get worse before they get even more worse before action to try and make things better happens. I was bounced from urologist to urologist and finally to a different base a few hundred miles away. lucky for me the urologist/surgeon there was a competent one. he evaluated me and diagnosed me with nerve/damage and identified a few cysts I had developed which were the casue of my sensitivity and pain. a few bottles of meds later I was given a surgery date. that was a whole ordeal in itself with a bunch of incompetent navy f**ks who were making me second guess this procedure. but none the less , the anesthesiologist and the rest of the surgery staff were civilian and military and made me feel very secure and comfortable... A chord stip was done on my left Teste and the cysts were removed. this , if all goes well should help me live a normal err close to normal life instead of wallowing in pain everytime it gets cold or after I work out. I now have two weeks of convalescent leave to recoup and then another 30 to be fully mobile. so Just in case anyone wondered "as if" where I was these last couple of day.. now you know... | |
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and to top it off. I think i just got pranked. It was some guy speaking in Arabic or at least it sounded Arabic to me. I spoke in English and he spoke back with a heavy accent. he then shouted "silence" "I Kill You!" it was almost in a comedic tone. I dunno maybe somebody is playing a prank I really do not see any guy being stupid enought o do such a thing over the phone. and for those of you who want to know about caller ID. it said "Unkown". I guess I will find out at work later on.  | |
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I got the worst news anyone could get.. my Friend, Mentor, Brother, Role Model passed away this morning. he was in a motorcycle accident and was pronounced dead at 0930.  He left a his wife and his little 9 year old girl without the Pillar who held everything together. This guy was just more than a Man. He is the epitome of what a Marine should be, What a SNCO should be and what a person with good morals should be. It's so sad to have to go on in his shadow knowing that only 35 hours ago you spoke about plans for the weekend. This man was THE DRUM MAJOR for the Marines. He has affected so many lives and taught so many others to fill in his shoes including myself but none of us will even compare to the magnitude of his knowledge and his compassion for others. It's just sad to see such great people leave in an instant. Things like this always are unexpected and always get the best of you. This man was more like Father figure to me. The only person that I have admired, the only Person that I have ever looked up to. I wish with all my heart to be even a third of the Man and Marine he was. He would have been 38 this September. He was making such an impact with this unit. he sat me down and told me tat I was doing great things. I took it for what it was worth but i still hold him up on a pedestal. and now that he is gone. I just can't help but feel like I lost a very big part of me. if it wasn't for him, I would have never learned to be more patient with people, I would have been out of the Marine Corps. I would have never been in my current job and I would have never met my lovely Wife. My entire Career literally revolved around him. I tried my best to emulate and follow his teachings and become as good as he as I could.
Now I'm here alone without that Pillar to help me with my Career. He was the only reason I ever reenlisted and the reason I am pursuing my current career path. Almost like a father. and now he's gone.
I really don't want to add a somber feeling to TFS but i just had to let this out of my chest.
For those of you who even bother to read this and just so happen to be religious. I guess I ask for a prayer. I'm not religious and have no other way to grieve other than to talk about it or write about it. | |
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So just like I said I would, I drove through town on my way home from work. and I stopped as soon as I saw some of the local Emo fiends migrating across a main street to go cry at McDonald's. I pulled up as if I was going to go into the drive thru area. I asked them how htey were doing and how life was treating them. One of them actually seemed like he was about to cry. the other one seemed cool. They were both giving me weird looks during this whole time. I mean why would a total stranger pull up next to someone and carries out a conversation. I'm sure I freaked them out a little and probably why I was getting the look. As I'm talking to them I notice another kid. on a skateboard. I'm only guessing this was a skater going through the conversion process. Why?, Because he was wearing a black LAMB OF GOD T with grungy looking hair. no make up. the spike wristbands and those infamous little things.  the Female pants.. I just couldn't help myself but to laugh. I asked them about the Emo look or thing or fad or lifestyle, however they saw it. so the talkative guy decides to do most of the talking. his boy friend was too busy getting teary. I told them that I didn't mean any disrespect but just wanted to educate myself on this new cultural phenomena sweeping the country. He said it just meant that they were in touch with a very emotional side of life and that they were misunderstood and outcasts of society who had nothing but love and misery on their minds.. SO here I am Thinking.. wow.. this guys need some uppers. some strong type of anti depressant. I mean we all probably went to a similar phase of rejection during our teens. I never became EMo.. nor did I just cry about nothing all the time.. So this whole time. I could have sworn the talkative Emo's Boy buddy was practicing how to make himself cry on command. I asked him why he did that and he said because it is Emo. no other explanation other than that. I then asked them about the girl pants. What made them ear the girl pants and how the hell could they fit it around their junk? He said because ..  he wasn't big like that so it didn't bother him.. I cracked a smile. and the other guy said we do it because it's Emo.. SO.. I have concluded that maybe some Emo who was even more questionable about his sexuality decided to do it and somehow somewhere along the way another teary man decided it looked cool.. AND that these EMO kids have no clue as to why they do it other than to be EMO? so they don't even know why. I encourage you to go out there and find out why. maybe you can educate me. maybe some of you Emo dudes on here can better explain this to me. | |
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Well. After all that has happened I figured I would never have to even bring up this crap again. I took some of your Christian advice and did just as you "would have done" in my shoes. Just to catch everyone up, I had a run-in with a catholic missionary going door to door and spreading the word. He tried to get me too but I told him I wasn't interested and the peaceful man turned hostile on me. I eventually got him to leave and the following week he shows up again with the priest from his church. I received an apology and was talked to by the priest about joining them for ma** worship but I told him no thanks and he too turned somewhat hostile but not as bad as the other guy mainly just attacking my "beliefs". They both left and I thought that was the end of it. But Boy was I ever wrong!!!! I got home from a long day at the hospital and not even 15 minutes after sitting down and finish a conversation with my wife, I hear a knock at my door. I figured it was the pesky neighbors across the street that always want to come and swim in my pool. I open the door and see three ladies. One of them was about my age and two older ones. I guess I was the big talk at their ma** last week or this week rather. They introduced themselves and I put my guard up right away. I quickly began to think of things to say to possible questions they had. They wanted entry into my home and for once these churchies were being very nice. But I knew something was up and I told them that I just got home from work and that I was in severe pain, very tired and to please have a nice day. They insisted in trying to come into my house. I told them to please respect my wishes and to leave. But as I began to shut the door one of them tried to I SHIT YOU NOT.. tried to open my screen door (Which was bolted). I looked at her and asked her what their problem was. ( YES I KNOW I COULD HAVE JUST SHUT THE DOOR BUT I HAVE HAD NO FOOD YET AND THEY CAUGHT ME INA VERY CRANKY MOOD) They told me that they cannot let me keep going in my current path of destruction. WHAT IN HELLS NAME POSSESSED THEM TO DO THAT?? so I pulled up a chair and sat in front of the screen door and told them they had 2 minutes to say what you came to say after that I'm calling the police. You could tell that the younger lady was a bit shaken by the older woman’s reactions and sudden hostility. so I focused on her and I made it my goal to break her faith. 
I let the Older Women talk which most of it was in circles saying the same s**t the Priest and the other dude said. Of course by this time the neighbors are all standing by their windows and enjoying the show.
After all was said and done, they went over the 2 minutes and I told them it was 4 past their mark. They insisted in my responses to their questions.. So i told them. Yes I have accepted your lord and Savior as My own but nothing happened and I now have no faith and do NOT believe he existed. They were shocked of course.
I said. No I will not accept him now, No i do not want to attend your church, NO I do not think I'm going to hell and then I told them they were going to hell and gave them a brief History cla** and one of the older women and the young one began to have doubts I could tell by the look in their eyes. The other one was very aggressive and stuck in her ways.
I asked them why they saw fit the need to hara** me in my own home.
they stood there in silence and told me they weren't harassing me when my neighbor said yes you are you stupid bitch!!
I also asked them the general questions asked to many Catholics. You know the ones about the virgin, the saints and blah rituals.
I again went into another history cla** with them and somehow. I could tell they were beginning to doubt themselves. Then one the aggressive one began to pray and asking the Lord to help her get rid of those devious thoughts and blah blah blah and basically they called me a demon and that I was possessed by an evil spirit. So I played along and gave them a crazy look and then told them I was going to eat their souls and the reason they couldn't get across the screen door was because of my demonic aura.  I gave the EYE BALL and told them that if they continued their futile quest in my home that I would haunt and torment their children and them in their dreams.
I have to admit, it was pretty darn funny to see them look at me like I was a monster. and then.. OOOH... they f**king sprayed me.. the bitches f**king sprayed me with water.. HOLY FUCKING WATER. (now that I look back I should have pretended to go into seizure and start talking in tongues) but I was pissed. My neighbor had already called the sheriff and just as I was going to get them back he pulls in to my drive way walks to them and asks if there was a problem. I told him the ladies were refusing to leave the premises and that they had assaulted me with religious rituals and doused me in holy water.
The deputy laughed and told them that they had 30 seconds to get in their vehicle and drive away or he would take them in. I told him thanks he smiled and took some info but I didn't file a report. He said they have been having problems with people like that a lot recently. He went on his way and I came straight here to get this while it was still fresh.
So what the Fuck?
Why must I continue to be tortured by mindless religious robots?
Why can't you just leave people alone? I'm about to start pretending I'm a Homosexual Satanist and put dead rats on stick all over my yard to ward off the "good" spirits... 
Well any who
that was my rant for this day and possibly week.
let's see who has a problem with this time. 
Go ahead Christians.. bring it on | |
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| The more and more I seem to think about things and in my never ending quest to "salvation", I have come upon a huge hurdle/wall. as some of you may know I was born into a catholic family. i was excommunicated for having free will if you will. Actually for asking too many questions and saying that there was no need for the Priest/Father to be a mediator between God and I. I have been to many churches looking for a place to fit in. and I did in many but in my heart i just felt uneasy. Why? because I just never felt the "feeling" of God touching me. I never felt the weird tingly sensations that many claim. I never received the word and never spoke in tongues. I have debated err argued with many on this sit about my lack of beliefs or the level of my lack or the uncertainty of my lack. The more and more I continue my studies in religion. I keep finding out things that blow me away. Now if I were a traditional American Christian I would call it blasphemy and dismiss it as the devils work but i think i know better and am open enough to take in possibilities. I Continue to ask myself why so I even believe in a higher being/God? and the question still haunts me. Is it because I was brought up in it and subconsciously I am disposed to believe it? i just cannot continue to fool myself. as much as it hurts to acknowledge defeat or anything against one's self. I think I am becoming more of an Atheist than a Theist. I'm currently walking a thin line between Agnosticism and Atheism. I'm Unsure but I keep having that this feeling is just a subconscious one and that I shouldn't. One thing for sure though. Christianity In my mind is nothing more than any other religion who claims to be the one. just another means for control. So i guess all of you devout Christian may say I'm condemned but that's just Your opinion there's no fact to that and I will continue to respect others opinions as long as they do not intrude on my own. | |
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Holy frickon crap!!
The same Guy... Just now.. like no frickon kidding was infront of my door again. He was with another man wearing the catholic priest garb ( a father). He actually was forced to go door by door and apologize to the neighborhood for his rants. So I figured,and thought, wow, I guess someone in that church had some backbone to stand up to the guy. and I was kinda feeling ok about the whole situation. and just about the time the guy is forced to get back on the pick-up he looks back at me with evil staring eyes and muttered something under his breath. Then the priest decides to give a whack at me going to his church. I again tried to be polite and told him that I didn't agree with modern so-called organized religion. I never even said i was atheist or anything like that. And the Priest told me that I was on a roller coaster headed straight to hell if I didn't repent and accepted JC as my personal Savior. I was about to go out and beat some a** but a friend came to the house and was forced to listen to all the jib jab. so my stubborn headed a** decided to antagonize the priest and asked why should I even attempt to go to s blasphemous church? Why would I want to be apart of something that goes against the very same Bible that Church put into place and begin to worship and or adore Saints and other supposed holy beings. Then I guess the pressure of two full grown men might have intimidated the bloke and he decided to leave peacefully. or so I thought. he then said "I will pray for your lost soul my son" and smiled. WTF!? was that? i took it more like a Phuck you? any who. thats my rant for this weekend I guess. UGH | |
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| I'm just baffled at how the newer generations rely on crying to get what they want. What ever happened to hard work pays off? This is just a space for me to vent since doing it anywhere else would be very inappropriate. comments are ok | |
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| I'm just amazed at how regardless of what I try to do with my life.. I always have people preaching to me about going to church and what not. even within these posts on forums.. you always have someone else trying to negate another persons beliefs or lack thereof. Christians telling me to be Christian, atheists telling me that I shouldn't believe in anything. What Gives? People Will believe what they seem to be the best thing for them I guess. call it delusions or lack of faith or whatever. Facts are that People, regardless of whatever belief or fanatical way of thinking they have, will pretty much stick to that. Like I've stated on previous posts, I'm not a Christian But I believe in a higher Being (God if you want). And like I said before, things are too coincidental for us to be here in this place and moment in time. I come from a diverse Ethnic background and have very close relatives ie. Grandfather, mother Etc.. who are of Native American Descent ( not part blah blah but I'm 1/2 apache) and the stories my great grandfather used to tell me when he was alive are way too similar to stories of the white man when it comes to history of our race. I understand that many peoples worship/pray/think in different ways about their deities or Gods. but for a culture this far away from the Middle east and European Countries to have so many things in common.. ' well. it just makes me think. I know you Atheist will love to harp on me and. want "face value answers" but if you're seriously that dense then you are more insane than the rest of us who you claim are delusional | |
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I'm back!! convalescent leave **not for children please**
