i think those perfection pills i took long ago, don't work anymore. i've always been the best, i've always been the perfect, i've always been the right one but bby then you came into my world. you got me get down on my knees and begged you, "please".

and you say you love me, like you're talking to a friend. you're talking to me honey. i'm not your friend. i'm not her, not him, not them. we are lovers or at least you made me believe we are.

today i threw up again. i throw up all the time, so nothing's new. but this time i did not puke blood. i puked envy. i puked jealousy, i puked anger, i puked hate. and i wanted to throw my heart away so i'd get rid of loving you. 'cause you put my mask down and made me face my fears. that's why i wish to hate you as half as how much i hate myself.

and i swear i'd burn the city down to to show you the light.