I am so sad today, I am on the verge of tears. I cant concentrate at work today, so I am writing this down to see if it helps.

My Father is coming to visit me and although I want him to see what I have accomplished, I really dont want to see him at all. He sprung this on me, and its stressing me out alot. I have not seen him in 6 years, since my Mothers funeral, and now its like really scary to see him.

I think my issue is that I have unresolved anger at him. I talk to him on the phone about once a month or so, and everytime everything is fine, but the thought of having to spend a long period of time with him is not something I want to do.

I feel like this is gonna ruin my Christmas, like everything was fine and now this.

My bf is very supportive, and we can make it through anything, so certainly we can endure this. It just seems so unfair for him to intrude on my life like this. I am being selfish, I know. I just wish sometimes he would leave me alone forever. I just dont really have anything to say to him.

Now my plans are all messed up with my bf and his parents and family, what am I gonna do have my Father tag along? Is that appropriate? Do I have to cancel plans or can I include him? I am not sure what the etiquette is. My step-Mother I have never met is also coming.

Should I or can I say no? Or should I just go with the flow and f**k it, nothing I can do about it now anyway so just get over myself and roll with it? Or should I just punch him in the face and then stab him? I am kidding, I wouldnt really do that, but horrid thoughts did cross my mind.