""im in LOVE with you!""  free_period_bordom_2
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Über-General
634 points
18/F/dartford, United Kingdom
Join Date: Sep 2006 |
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Diary Of Terry
9:56 pm
Hello it’s me Terry im sitting on my top bunk at the moment in my grey joggers and my pink cropped top, and im here again telling you how I feel about Leon” I really love the way he smiles”.
I really feel like such an evil bitch when im always saying how much I hate Lou, to my best friend Chantelle but she doesn’t really mind because she is always bitching about people. It’s not her fault; she doesn’t know how I feel about Leon.
It’s not like I can exactly tell her how I feel about her boyfriend is it.
I sometimes wonder if they will last well I hope not, here I go again being a bitch I should be happy for him he is a mate after all but I just cant, I don’t want to let my feelings get in the way but they are I cant be happy for them because I want to be the one that gets to spend all the time with him, who gets the little sweet texts and the kisses. Oh my god I really hate feeling like this.
I don’t know what to do anymore I have liked Leon for about 4 months and its just getting hard to even talk to him these days, we’ve been friends since we were seven so I guess I have known him about ten years now.
His seventeenth birthday is coming up and I really want to tell him how I exactly feel about him, im just scared that he will reject me and it will ruin our friendship, I don’t think I could handle loosing his friendship, he has always been there for me when I need him, but now I really need him well more like I really want him even though that’s sounds well sad.
I want to tell my mum but I don’t know how she is going to react, well I don’t want her to laugh at me and say its just one of them silly crushes teenagers get because I know it isn’t.
I just want her to understand that I have a big problem and my feelings aren’t going away , its not like I haven’t tried, because I really have I didn’t speak too him for a week then I just missed him more, I didn’t see him unless it was in school but he came and got me out all the time and that didn’t work either. I just want my mum to under stand and give me some advice.
Well its getting late now and I have wrote quite a bit so I think im going to go to bed, im defiantly going to talk to my mum tomorrow, so I will tell you how that goes anyways goodnight.
10:42pm
Well today I was in the car with my mum and I finally told my mum how I feel about Leon , I felt so much better after telling her I just wanted some advice and to see what she would do.
She said to follow my heart which yes I know sounds corny but maybe she is right I should just tell him how I feel, and not worry about the consequences, o I really don’t know this is getting all to much for me.
I saw Leon today I was with Chantelle and we walked through the park, thank god he didn’t see us, Rob did, I’m happy he didn’t say anything would off felt so awkward talking to him I don’t know why it just feels weird even saying hello these days.
I should of just said hello then I wouldn’t have looked like such a prick, even Chantelle was annoyed with me she kept moaning and was like oh my god if you like him so much why don’t you even talk to him, well she just doesn’t understand because I wanted to talk to him but the words just don’t come out I don’t know why I wish I did.
I forgot that today when I left Chantelle I walked home and was just about to open my newly painted blue front door, it was slightly wet still so my fingertips where blue like a little smurf, I got into the door ran up the stairs and in to the bathroom to clean my blue painted fingertips, just as I was going to dry my hands my phone starts to vibrate as I looked who it was my hand froze my phone feel on the towel on my bathroom floor I was deadly shocked.
I just couldn’t believe it I then received a text reading “ hallo well terry gel just kall me or sumat yeh I need talk bowt leon init I dnt wana b wid him no mre tb or kall me yeh xx Lou” How could she even text me that, actually come to it how did she get my number, do I ring yeh I ring her I fault to myself.
I did ring her and I wish I didn’t she keep saying that leon was immature and was annoying her she keep saying that she is going to dump him next time she sees him I didn’t know what to reply because if I said she should she might wonder why and realise how I feel, but if I say she shouldn’t maybe I would be making the wrong decision, I just said follow your heart just like my mum did but I don’t know what she will say I quickly said I have to go, I didn’t give her a chance to respond and I hung up.
What have I just done I felt sick to my stomach I cant believe she asked me for advice, me of all people where not even mates o well I got to forget about it for now I have to go bed I’m so tired and I am suppose to be going cinema with Chantelle tomorrow should be fun she said she was inviting some one else I wonder who it is well I will see tomorrow anyway night .
11:16 pm
Well today I went to the big galaxy cinema with Chantelle when we got there she announced that Leon will be joining us. I was scared as well as exited.
She kept saying I invited him so you can talk to him, she is fed up of me always going on but she doesn’t understand how I feel so she can’t exactly say anything. So about five minutes later Leon calls Chantelle asking where she was he said he was off the bus where you want to meet.
A few minutes later Leon arrived at the cinema, I was getting the tickets at that time so I didn’t say hello or talk to him, I was dead worried we have twenty minutes to kill before the film started.
Chantelle suggested we all go get some lunch, I was eating my chicken and mayonnaise sandwich while Chantelle was tucking into a fat wet saucy cheese burger and Leon was eating his curried chips. While we was all sitting there I noticed Leon had curry sauce all over his jeans, I didn’t know weather to tell him or keep quiet, just as I was about to say something Rob walked past our table and said “ Oi bruv there’s brown stuff on your jeans get it off you look like a tramp you twat”.
When we had finished we walked back to the cinema and gave our tickets in, Leon went to the toilet while he was gone I thought I had a chance to have a moan at chantelle, I was so angry about her inviting him, I kept saying I cant believe you I thought you was my friend what sort of friend goes behind there back like that. By the time the film ended we weren’t speaking and she was all over Leon, I think she was trying to upset me which she succeeded.
We all got on the bus and walked to the corner where Chantelle lived Leon said goodbye to but I just shrugged and frowned I was still very pissed off at her for the way she was all day, she left me and Leon alone, he said “you walking with me then terry” I said yes okay then. We walked down my road and he asked me why I didn’t talk to him I said I was just annoyed with chantelle was nothing serious he accepted my reply.
Leon kept on walking all the way to my front gate then as I walked to my front door Leon kissed me on the cheek and said bye.
I couldn’t believe he kissed me yes I know it was only on the cheek but still all the same it was a kiss.
Does he have feelings for me or was he just messing about and playing with me I don’t know what to think. Well I’m really tired now I’m going to bed I need to think goodnight.
10:00 pm
Hi I am so happy today everything was perfect, I’m going to start from the top.
To start off well I was going down to my corner shop about 11:30 and I saw Leon’s brother rob, he was happy to see me I was like god knows why.
He said have you heard about Leon and Lou, just as he said the words my head started to get sweaty and I started to feel sick, I just replied no haven’t why what’s happened.
Rob said “ omg terry they have spilt finally Leon dumped the stupid cow I hated her she was a slut, he would have been better off with you”
I just was quickly said “no don’t be stupid, look I got to go see you around okay” I cant believe I let myself say that he was saying we would be a good couple and I just disagreed what a stupid bitch does that.
That was the only part of the day which sucked the rest was really a day to be remembered.
About two ish there was a knock on my front door, I wasn’t expecting anyone and I was the only one in, mum was out shopping in town and would have been gone for hours the way she shops she wont be back till the shops close.
I opened the door to my delight and shock it was him it was the boy it was Leon. I just said “hello” “come in” He didn’t say hello or anything all he said “was can we talk in the garden or something” we walked into the garden I shut the door behind us I was dreading what he was going to said I kept saying to myself over and over in my head is it good, is it bad, is it good, is it bad.
He started “ Terry I guess you know about me and Lou, well I dumped her I realised she wasn’t want I wanted, it wasn’t going to work because, firstly I’m in love with someone else and secondly she was just so horrible to all my mates she spoke to everyone like dirt, but you your so sweet and kind, gentle I’ve known you for so long now and my feelings have grown for you. You probably don’t feel the same but I’m going to ask you anyway will you be my girlfriend I love you. I opened my mouth I had you say the right thing for the first time in my life “I love you too Leon” and “yes”.
We was now together, everything I have wanted for ages finally I was going out with Leon, we walked through my kitchen and into the living room, we sat on the sofa’s and started watching some programme about penguins I thought it was rally sweet they where are fluffy and tiny.
When we was watching the programme Leon took my hand and put his on top, he reached over and kissed me on the cheek. I knew this time I had to do something I had to be the one so I reach over to his and kissed him on the lips, we sat on my sofa’s just talking and hugging and kissing I loved it so much.
It was getting late and Leon had to be home, so Leon kissed me goodbye and left. He is gone now and I still can’t stop thinking about today I won’t be able to sleep but goodnight. | |
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this is the beginning of my story for english wtell me what you think
