"One Number so many possibilies"  f4ll3n
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General
339 points
29/F/Sydney, Australia
Join Date: May 2006 |
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| Lil Rant. but mostly Worried My cousin, My soulmate Or My soulcous as i have come to call her yes strange my soulmate is my cousin and also a woman im telling you something really went wrong when i was born, Anyhoos Im worried about her she is a big girl and can take care of herself but how much can she take before it goes too far and pushes her beyond the edge of reason, Every day i watch her having to deal with Her boyfriend who has the mental capacity of a 2 year old and no not because he has a problem but becuase thats the way he acts. I see her bend over backwards for what? Nothing he does nothing for her and when things dont go his way he yells screams and sometimes hits her . My suggestion ive tried god knows ive tried to get her out of that situation but theres a saying that goes "you can only help those who are willing to help themselves".
I think the way im feeling is because i dont want to see her hurt anymore i dont want to see her upset or angry but i want her happy and i know this will never be as long as she feels she is bound to this guy.
She is such a beautiful person and is being smothered by an idiot who she unfortunatley loves and theres nothing i can do that is going to make life any easier for her.
Bleh rant over
toots
Kate
Current Music: Ben Lee
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cobber
Ogler
23235 points | BASTARD!  |
mimsworld
Mega Über-Meister
4333 points | I'm really sorry to hear that about your cousin.
This is my advice. Get all her friends to praise her, tell her how good she looks, how smart she is, you know all the good things people want to hear and do it all the time, never talk about the idiot, just good things. I say this because most women who are in that situation usually have low self esteem, but if you get can get feeling great about herself, in time and it may take time, she will see that she is too good for the spineless piece of crap she is with at the moment. |
f4ll3n
General
339 points | Thanks ill give it a try god knows something has to work soon im seriously worried for her mentality if he keeps going  |
jafo
General
399 points | I know this'll sound like a painfully obvious question....
... but have you asked her WHY she stays in this situation?
If you can understand that, you'll likely be able to approach helping her from a much better standpoint...
The other thing to consider is... YOU have other options in terms of being able to help her... An example would be reporting him for hitting her...
... I know that has consequences and ultimately it's up to you to decide whether that would be "helpful" or not... but my point is don't feel helpless in this situation because there are ways and means available to you... |
f4ll3n
General
339 points | | Ive asked her why she stays in the situation, Her reason she loves him so much in fact that she doesnt "want " to leave him but at the same time is scared for the saftey of her and her children I understand this is supposed to be a typical response when in a situation like that or so ive heard ... as for the police i have called them when they get there everything is rosy and its like nothing has happened ive often been tempted to stir him so he will hit me and i have proof but i think for now all i can do is be here i guess until she realises she wants me to help her get out of that situation |
treebee
UM - BONGO
Über-Administrator
163432 points | Its a painful situation. You can only support her the best you can and hopefully one day she will wise up. I feel very sorry for all concerned  |
jafo
General
399 points | I hate to say it but it sounds like a typical reason - there's obviously a reason for her deep feelings for him... I only hope it doesn't get to the point where she has to choose between her/the kids safety and her relationship with him...
I don't think it's worth trying to push his buttons - it might put you squarely between her and him and I don't think that's a place you'll want to be in... For your sake or hers...
The best you can do at this stage is pick up the pieces as need be - and hope that she starts making better decisions for herself...
Hang in there  |
f4ll3n
General
339 points | Thanks all for the great advice and the hugs  I can only be here if she needs me and its what i feel i must do as long as she is hell bent on being with him |
fallenangel
Über Master Debater
7511 points | the sad thing is is that she won't see that he is in the wrong because she doesn't want to....
she won't listen unless it is what she wants to hear and believe...
all you can do is be there for her when she needs you |
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