"Boobs are the proof God wants us to be happy."
erlend last visited <font color=#990033>49 minutes ago </font> erlend


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Ogler
22494 points


20/M/Tromsų, Norway
Join Date: Jul 2005

My Stats
Age: 20
Gender: M
Location: Tromsų
Troms
Norway
Email: erlend.alvestad@start.no
Posts: 7165
PLS: ? 46.01
Joined:: Jul 07, 2005
Last on: Aug 20, 2008
Profile Views: 1745
Reputation: 270

 
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Hypoglycemic Hallucinations
This is what I wrote the last time I got really drunk.


Public entry Erlend's Slightly Inappropriate Song Parodies #1
August 14, 2008 @ 05:08:13 pm
Loosely based on a true story.

Melody: Bob Dylan - Knockin' On Heaven's Door

verse 1
Man, you are a friend to me
We're roomies, never had a fight
But something breaks the harmony
When your girlfriend screams into the night

chorus
F***, f***, f***ing that stupid whore
I can't take it anymore
You never hear me banging on the door
Too busy banging on that whore

verse 2
I'm hearing more than I can take
Doesn't she ever get sore?
The walls around me start to shake
There goes my poster of Al Gore

chorus
F***, f***, f***ing that stupid whore
I can't take this anymore
I'm always banging on the door
Drop the volume on that whore...

verse 3
I can't live here anymore
I'll pack my things, get out the door
I'll just do my final chore
And clean your come off my floor

chorus
F***, f***, f***ing that stupid whore
I can't take it anymore
You never hear me banging on the door
Too busy banging on your whore...

(repeat until bored)
Current Music: Millencolin - Pennybridge Pioneers
3 comments | Quote | Reply

Public entry Tak!
August 13, 2008 @ 07:54:54 am
I pulled something in my left thumb a couple of days ago, and now I can't reach with it, lest pain shoots through my entire arm and makes me scream like a girl. Alas! You don't realize how much reaching you normally do until it starts hurting like burning hell.
Current Music: Hoobastank - Just One
6 comments | Quote | Reply

Public entry The Feed Mill: Chapter 2
July 15, 2008 @ 07:27:35 pm
Almost done with the top floor at the feed mill.



Those railings are my Sistine chapel. They really are. Of course, when I'm done there I'll just move down one floor and get even more work, cleaning and painting the top of the damn silos they somehow never manage to fill.

I think I'll leave a little part of my soul up there in the factory attic. After all, I will have spent about two weeks up there, only me and my brush. It's a little bit sad and a little bit nice.

Good heavens, how much paint did I actually sniff today?


(disgustingly clear ba** voice) Here's Erlend with your definitive tunes for a hard day's work at your local feed mill. Just as Michaelangelo had Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina to play his Gibson SG while the master himself worked on the Creation of Adam, you too can find inspiration for all your maintenance tasks from these silky songs.

* Rammstein - Feuer Frei!
* Sam Cooke - Chain Gang
* Massive Attack - Risingson
* Creedence Clearwater Revival - The Working Man
* Dropkick Murphys - Worker's Song
* Beck - E-Pro
* Daft Punk - Robot Rock
* Foo Fighters - Monkey Wrench
* Linkin Park - Given Up
* The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name
* The Rapture - No Sex For Ben
* R.E.M. - Finest Worksong
* Iggy Pop - Never Met A Girl Like You Before
* Jim Stärk - Morning Song
* Joan Osborne - What If God Was One Of Us?
* John Lee Hooker - Boogie Chillen'
* Lionel Richie - All Night Long
* Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama
* Men At Work - Land Down Under
* Mika - Love Today
* Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
* Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - American Girl
* Nine Inch Nails - Closer
* Apoptygma Berzerk - Fade To Black
* Flogging Molly - Factory Girls
* Billy Talent - Worker Bees
* Green Day - Give Me Novacaine
* Bruce Springsteen - Born In The U.S.A.
* Dire Straits - Money For Nothing
Current Music: Editors - Fingers In The Factories
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Public entry Just another normal day
July 14, 2008 @ 07:36:59 pm
This is the feed mill (yay, I learned a new word! ) I'm working at this summer. Right now I'm giving the heavy machinery on the top floor a massive paint job.



That's eight floors - and, for some reason, no lift.

This is what I look like when I'm trying to decide whether to climb the stairs to the top or just wait it out in the bathroom until the next coffee break begins.


Current Music: Editors - The Back Room
Quote | Reply

Public entry Posting on TFS is often like fishing.
July 09, 2008 @ 05:39:52 pm
If the topic you're posting in is in a coma, making a post is like fly fishing. You reply, hoping that you'll hook someone onto the topic before it falls out of the Recents list.

Damn, I gotta try fly fishing some day.
Current Music: Editors - The Back Room
18 comments | Quote | Reply

Public entry Finally I'm getting some real work done.
July 06, 2008 @ 07:59:13 pm
Gonna work my a** off for a month until about a week before school starts. I may or may not spend more time on TFS than usual since I'll be too exhausted after work to do useful stuff like exercising and watching porn. With a little luck I'll have about a ton of money to burn when I get back to college. Or at least enough to pay the rent.
Current Music: Avenue Q - What Do You Do With a B.A. in English?
5 comments | Quote | Reply

Public entry Ups and downs
July 02, 2008 @ 12:32:52 pm
I just watched the Gabriella Cilmi video in bellestrange's profile, and I was like "woah mama!". Then I read that she's only sixteen and I was like "oh MAN!"

I was gonna put her on my list.
Current Music: The Lettermen - What Child Is This?!
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Public entry
June 27, 2008 @ 06:44:36 pm
My cat came home with a scratched ear. I felt sorry for him and started petting him and telling him Swede jokes.

Upon which he just looks at me as if to say: "bitch, please. You should've seen the other guy." Then he just trotted off downstairs.

Priceless
Current Music: Will Smith in Hyde Park. W00t!
7 comments | Quote | Reply

Public entry I love the smell of fresh avatars at midnight
June 26, 2008 @ 10:19:46 pm
It's that feeling you get when you know you've made a cool avatar that could last hours, even days. It's like being born again. Moreso (is that a word? NOW it is!!!), it's almost like putting on a mask and taking on a new personality.

So this week I'm a famous black vocalist/bassist with the mustache of a Ukranian porn star. I probably get laid all the time too, so step right up, girls.
Current Music: Thin Lizzy - Cold Sweat (I can even play the riff! XD
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Public entry Is it normal
June 13, 2008 @ 07:11:29 pm
to end your first serious relationship with an all-consuming fear that you'll never get to have sex again?
Current Music: Robbie Williams - Sexed Up (not really, what do you take me for...)
7 comments | Quote | Reply

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