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dragonpoet last visited May 06, 2008 dragonpoet


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40/F/putnam, Connecticut
Join Date: Jun 2007

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dragonpoet
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Public entry (Fiction) "In the Mist of Flowers" - Prolong
January 03, 2008 @ 02:44:21 pm
(Fiction) "In the Mist of Flowers" - Prolong

This is a piece of fiction that I have written, it is copied right by me (EFlickner), so please do not copy and use anywhere else. I am looking to hear thoughts and opinions on it, and would really like to know if the story is worth trying to get get published or not. Someone suggested I should post it in my journal and see what others have to say about it. Thanks for taking the time to read it, hoping to post the first chapter later tonight, then perhaps every week or so most more of it. Again thanks.

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Sometime in the 1800's a small community, who followed the ancient beliefs of their forefathers fled their homeland and the depression that was plaguing their country with the decling mining industry, hoping to discover a better life in the new world. They arrived in the new world with hope and excitement, but quickly became disillusioned and disenchanted. They found themselves being tormented by those who didn't understand them, and they feared prosecution. They attempted to hide their beliefs and practiced their beliefs in secret, but the elders in their community feared the changes occurring in their youths and decided that it was time to venture into the unknown establishing their own community away from the unfluences of the outside world.

Under the leadership of the elders the community packed their belongings and ventured northward. They traveled through the rolling countryside, passing the scattered fringes of soceity and venturing deeper into the uncharted territory and into the towering mountains. Onward they marched, growing weary and fearing that the paradise they sought was but an illusion. The seeds of doubt, despair, and insurrection rippled through their numbers. They feared that their goddess had forsaken them.

Reaching the end of their endurance and many wanting to turn back, their prayers were answered as they entered a wondrous valley surrounded on all sides by towering mountains. The valley had a lust woodland, a stream running though its center, and a meadow. A prefect home for them or at least they thought so as they entered its wonderful soil. They began to build their homes and establish themselves within the valley.

Quickly, they discovered that they were not alone, and that the valley was already home to a strange mysterious people who they called "the children of the earth". The people greeted them with open arms, assisted them, and showed them for the mystical wonders of the valley. The two communities gradually blended, accepting each other, and adapting each others beliefs into their own, but an evil descended upon them for within their midst one woman yearned for complete power and upset the delicate balance they had created. A great battle occurred between the woman and "the children of the earth". In horror, the woman's fellow companions watched the destruction and fearing that their world would be destroyed they betrayed her. She was exiled from the valley, vowing revenge as she fled into the northern mountains, and they set about rebuilding their community.

"The children of the earth" feared the woman that had been exiled, fearing the power that she was uncovering in the mountains, and caste a powerful entrapment spell trapping the woman in a cave for eternity, but the spelled failed. The woman had caste her own spell, changing her form into a dark mist that fell upon the valley with a vengeance. The woman of the community banded together with "the children of the earth" and using a pumice crystal and a bloodstone they drove the mist back into the cave, and trapped it there. Fearing that the mist could find its freedom again, the community established a line of woman to be the keeper of the petal crystal, to understand the lore, and to prevent evil from descending upon them again.

Once again the community thrived and flournished, developing their way of life, and blending with those they called "the children of the earth". For a long time they remained isolated from the outside world, possessing no desire to venture outside their community, but with all things, things change. The first bubble of change began with a recklessness appearing in the youths of the community. The youths wanted soemthing different, wanted adventure, and to discover what wonders existed outside their little world, but the elders disapproved. They feared it would unsettle the delicate balance they had maintained through the years. They attempted to impede the youth's plans and desires, but in the end, they failed. A group of youths lead by Gawain Kilpatrick set out into the wilderness to discover a new life. Within the community, the elders created a tale of their destruction to prevent future youth's from following in their footsteps, and for a time their plan worked.

Then one day unexpectedly, Gawain Kilpatrick returned. He returned with a few of the youth's that had left with him, a wife and a child, plus a few outsiders. They spoke freely to the community of the wonders that existed int he outside world, of things that the community ouldn't even dream of, of different beliefs, and material things. The elders resisted the invasion, but they offered little that truly captured the younger generation's imagination, for no longer did the old ways satisfy the desires of the young. slowly, resistance against them diminished and they remained within the community.

The change brought forth outsiders who set about modernizes the community. The outsiders brought with them many wondrous things and ideas, hence the community changed as their elders vanished. The old ways slowly disappeared being replaced by more modern ones. Here within the community, the lines between truth, tradition, superstitions, and modernization the story takes place. The tale begins with the last knowledgeable female member attempting to protect the community from an ivading evil, and yet, even within herself she has doubts of its existnece and doubts her own ability to be successful. No other in the community believes her, believing she is nothing more then a rambling old woman. Thus, here we begin the tale of in the mist of flowers.

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More of this tale will be added in the future, please share your thoughts, thanks.

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