 dgduranx3
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Commander
75 points
17/F/Somewhere, Philippines
Join Date: May 2008 |
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melon21
Points Whore
792 points | I don't get it!!!
July 22, 2008 @ 11:02:19 am | What a week it has been I just feel so drained and emotionally exhausted. The emotion I have mainly felt this week is anger I have just been pissed off with everyone. Why is how I lead my life anyone else's business? I don't rub my lifetsyle choices in their faces, I don't preach to them about how good my life is so why do people constantly feel like it is their place to tell me I am living my life wrong?
I don't tell them that how they are living their life is wrong, if people want to do something regardless of how I feel about it if that's what they want to do then that's their choice, so why can't people offer me the same courteousy? It has nothing to do with them, I am not leading my life in a dangerous way I don't do drugs, I don't drink a lot and I am in a stable relationship with a roof over my head, so why am I the one that gets criticised when other people around me are doing drugs, get drunk to the point of sickness everynight, break the law constantly and sleep around on their partners?
I just want to know, coz it is so frustrating and the thing is I always told myself I didn't care what people think, but it's hard when people criticise me everytime they see me, especially if they haven't even bothered to put in the time to get to know me, even though I have put in attempts on numerous accounts to get to know them, and they feel they have the right to criticise me, I don't f**king think so.
It's one thing to offer constructive criticism but it's another to be a totally f**khead about it, I guess I don't understand why people are the latter.:-X  1 comments | Reply |
melon21
Points Whore
792 points | I feel guilty and superficial right now
June 04, 2008 @ 05:11:18 am | The reason why I say that is because when my partner and I got engaged a couple of months ago, he didn't have a ring, and I thought "that's cool we don't have the money for one at the moment I can wait."
However now I want one, and I feel really guilty for thinking that coz I am so happy we are engaged but I just have this nagging feeling for a ring on my finger, and I don't know if I am going to get one and I feel like I am missing out on something special by not having one.
When he proposed he said that I should have a ring by my 21st bday which is in January so there is still plenty of time but alot of my friends are getting engaged and they have rings and like I said I just feel like I am missing out on something as stupid as that sounds and I feel sooooooooooo guilty and terrible that I am thinking that.
I spoke to my parents about the other day and dad said that it doesn't matter that we don't have a ring he has made a committment to me by proposing and in today's world that is a beautiful thing.
I guess I am just sick of people telling me I need a ring to make it "official" which in my mind is a load of s**t but I think deep down I think the same thing, and I don't like that like that quality in me.2 comments | Reply |
spicedsugar
Meister
1251 points | Behind My Laughing Face
June 03, 2008 @ 02:01:07 am | At the age of 14, I became the mother of two fully-grown adults. One past 50 years of age, the other nearing mid-40s; my mother and father, respectively.
In the past, my role was to be the hot topic for the bearer of bad news. I caused my father pain; my mother worry. Neither knew what to do with me. Should they send me to counseling?
What you have just read would be happening still, if the sun had not risen today. My father frowning and brooding as he drove me to school, like a sulking child worn-out from his tantrum. Complaining through clenched teeth of the pain my mother's caused him, the hurt, the abuse, the neglect. He seethes from her attitude towards him.
My mother, on the other hand, is frantic about money. It's true; she's a work-aholic. She's obsessed with being an aesthetician of her own business. She pays for school and vacation trips; but there's always too much to do. No time to set aside for her husband, portraying himself as calm, instead of showing her his strife.
For years (as far as I can remember, before turning age 3), they've bickered and argued over details, big and small. Good communication between them is for wishful thinking; not for a marital battle zone. Each snarl and shout drives a question that haunts my by-chance sleep: when will the divorce papers come in?
Logic lassos my wild imagination; hog-typing it with facts. To them, divorce is a failure. It's ok for others to do it, but not themselves. As Catholics, they simply cannot, it would destroy holy matrimony's sanctity. As parents, how will their kids react? The eldest has been through it once before. The youngest (me) is unpredictable. With this, the storm calms itself. The sky returns to its intense blue...for now.
But still you wonder: how can it be, a now 17 yr old a parent to her own? Recall to mind your own kids or reflect upon another's. Look at how the parents shift their emotions to match the children's needs. A sad mom fakes a smile; a dad absentmindedly hugs his child, while talking about business on the phone… I play the sympathizer to a pouting man. I'm manipulative to a blind-sided woman. Cease your worry concerning reproductive biology;
I am a parent, simply because SOMEONE has to be.8 comments | Reply |
melon21
Points Whore
792 points | What a weird day
June 02, 2008 @ 05:49:20 am | I just feel lazy today, I have no pep, I think all this studying for final exams is making me so tired and run down. I have so much to do though, I never realised how much I actually do until I sat down the other day and I was going through everything I needed to do in my head, I do a lot, maybe I should start to slow down and look after myself for a little bit, but no that would seem selfish and then nothing would get done around the house.
I hate days like these, they are becoming more frequent, I just wanna be peppy and bubbly again I wanna feel like I actually matter, holidays are soon so maybe I can try and relax and unwind then, maybe.Reply |
melon21
Points Whore
792 points | Don't know how to help...
May 30, 2008 @ 11:57:42 pm | My youngest sister in law (the good one, the one I like!) to be had her boyfriend break up with her last night, now this was her first serious boyfriend, they had been going out for a few months, and she loved him, and to make matters any worse they lived 2 hours apart.
Now me and my partner have always thought he was a complete douche who needed a kick up the arse and didn't want him with her coz we know she can do better, (we never voiced these opinions to her or to anyone else coz we didn't want to interfere in their relationship).
Of course he gave the long version of "it's not you it's me, and I am a bad person and don't deserve you.", she is heartbroken, both me and my partner have been where she is but we just don't know what to say or how to help her, coz she thinks as we all do after a relationship that she is never going to find anyone like that again.
I just wanna make her feel good about herself and make her realise it's not her fault the relationship ended, I have become so close to her she is like another sister to me, and I hate seeing her so unhappy and beating herself up.
Maybe a girls night in with lots of chocolates and take away and stupid movies will make her feel better.
Just needed to get that off my chest.2 comments | Reply |
xoxo_ellashe17
General
272 points | IM BORED AND TIRED<<< ITS SOOO HOT HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES..
May 30, 2008 @ 03:20:58 am |   gosh,,, im very bored and tired here in the house,,,
when im stay here,,, my head is aching,,,im too bored..
bored,, bored,,,bored,,,
i have nothing to do...just to listen music,,,everyday in my whole life,,,
texting,,, with my friends,,, and chatting...
im very excited goin back to school meet new friends,,,
im enjoy going out,,, but i dont have money to go out..
huhu...
till here...
love all
ella  9 comments | Reply |
melon21
Points Whore
792 points | Oh my gosh!!!!
May 29, 2008 @ 12:29:44 pm | I just wanna share a cute little story about my fiance:
I have had a headache for most of the day and it is about 10:30pm here in Australia and I can't sleep so I thought I would get up so that I wouldn't keep him awake by tossing and turning, and within 10 minutes he was in this room checking up on me freezing his bum off to make sure I was ok and to give me a hug, and asked me if I was coming to bed soon coz he doesn't like it when I am not there.
I just thought to myself "oh my gosh!! he is the best man in the world!" He is so cute sometimes I can't stand it hehehe.
So yeah just thought I would share that little story.
3 comments | Reply |
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but I grin and put on a happy face and laugh at their bitchy comments towards me coz I love my husband to be and he doesn't need to see me fight with his family, nor does he need anything to come between him and I 
