I have not trusted my mom since that evening; my mother & I have never been close anyway He died n a car accident he was n with some friends of his. My mom & I saw them that night at the store & he asked me to go with them; she said I could if I wanted to, but I didn't want my dad 2 get mad; to this day, I really wish I had gone; it may have changed things some how He was my first true love (perhaps my only true love) & he died when he was only 16; I awoke with a severely sad feeling at about the time they had the wreck. I knew something was really wrong but there was nothing I could do about it

The next friend I lost was an ex-boyfriend of my best friend. He had moved out to California & had a really bad wreck. He was in a coma for about 2 wks before he died. He was about 22 at the time. When he lived where I did we ran around together a lot. He was one of my best friends in the whole world; we told each other everything. His name was Ed. I couldn't go to his funeral because they had it in California I had been told about the accident by another friend who had heard of it from his little brother. About a week later, I was on the school bus going home. The bus drove around the corner by our house and my mother was standing on the porch holding a newspaper I didn't even make it off of the bus b4 I started crying because I knew what it said. I really miss him too

One of my cla** mates committed suicide when I was 16 also. His name was Frankie. He was a sweet young guy who had been rejected one too many times & just couldn't take life anymore He hung himself on our school campus. On the way to school that morning the sky was really dreary & spooky looking; everyone had the feeling something was really wrong His older sister was one of my best friends. When we went to get off the bus one of our friends told us what had happened & we were truly shocked. Pretty much our whole cla** & his sisters whole cla** attended his funeral. They read the letter he left & it was really sad. He even made the comment that people who had teased him & not liked him would go to his funeral just to get out of going to school~ and there was at least one boy who had made the comment that, that was exactly why he was going~ when they read that, he started crying & had 2 go outside, but he came back n, which to me meant that it was not the only reason he had gone

I am running out of time and would hate to bore everyone to tears, but before I go I must mention a couple whom I lost as well, and let you all know that I will be posting n my journal about all of the good, close friends I have lost through the yrs & there r many more of them. So, I will be posting some tomorrow & hope I have enough time to mention everyone These r all people who meant the world to me, & I could never 4get any of them, no matter how bad my memory may get!

OK, the couple I mentioned were named Jay & Ida (she mostly went by her middle name, which I can't recall at the time~ but her family called her Ida). They were engaged to be married & got hit by a truck that was passing a car on a really bad corner He & Rodney were good friends & I didn't think I knew her, but my older sister insisted that I did. My mother & I attended their funeral together. I saw her n the casket & relized that I did know her & just started crying uncontrollably. We saw Rodney's brother there & he attacked me about not attending Rodney's funeral, but going to Jay's, so I let my mother explain to him what happened. I went outside. He came outside & gave me a hug & told me he was really sorry, he had expected me to be there & was surprised that I wasn't, & he was sure that Rodney knew I would have been there if I could have. It hurt him to see me at Jay's funeral because he thought I didn't want to go to Rodney's but did want to go to Jay's. I told him I understood & we went inside; we sat next to each other.

Sry, I really gotta go now Thx once again for letting me vent BTW; I lost all of these good friends within about 3 months time; that was a very difficult time in my life. B4 that I had only lost great grandparents; I hadn't known anyone young who had passed away
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