"A weed is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered"  calonso
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Über Master Debater
8976 points
24/F/Orlando, Florida
Join Date: Dec 2007 |
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| I'm going to Colorado to record some music and I just don't know how to tell my husband whom I know will not approve. This is the situation. I'm a penniless singer/songwriter and haven't had the means to record my art. I have a friend (Ryan) in Colorado that I know very well and he's going to hook me up with free studio time. I just have to go out there for a few days.
Here's where it gets tricky. Me and Ryan have a romantic history (nothing serious we just spent a couple months as lovers) and my silly honest self told my husband about it (lesson learned)
My husband believes that I still have a thing for Ryan and I kinda do as he does me but we are both responsible adults, nothing would happen. Plus, I have a good friend of ours comming with me so nothing could happen anyway.
But I know my husband is sooo not going to approve and can't come with me because he has to work (we couldn't afford it anyway) but this is not up for debate, I'm going, I have to. I was meant to sing, it's my gift, my fruit and I just cannot afford to miss any more opportunities to bear it.
Yes, I admit that I'm really going to be glad to see Ryan again after all these years, but this is strictly business for me, my real business, music. So how do I break it down for my hubby?
Current Music: Jay Z- Lost ones
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raditz8526
Monk
30743 points | calonso said:
I'm going to Colorado to record some music and I just don't know how to tell my husband whom I know will not approve.
This is the situation. I'm a penniless singer/songwriter and haven't had the means to record my art. I have a friend (Ryan) in Colorado that I know very well and he's going to hook me up with free studio time. I just have to go out there for a few days.
Here's where it gets tricky. Me and Ryan have a romantic history (nothing serious we just spent a couple months as lovers) and my silly honest self told my husband about it (lesson learned)
My husband believes that I still have a thing for Ryan and I kinda do as he does me but we are both responsible adults, nothing would happen. Plus, I have a good friend of ours comming with me so nothing could happen anyway.
But I know my husband is sooo not going to approve and can't come with me because he has to work (we couldn't afford it anyway) but this is not up for debate, I'm going, I have to. I was meant to sing, it's my gift, my fruit and I just cannot afford to miss any more opportunities to bear it.
Yes, I admit that I'm really going to be glad to see Ryan again after all these years, but this is strictly business for me, my real business, music. So how do I break it down for my hubby?
Be honest with him. Just tell him, "Honey, I'm going out to Colorado for a few days to record an album. I will be with a guy that I fooled around with and still have a "thing" for, but don't worry, it's just to record the music." I'm sure he will understand.  |
jonnythan
Abominable Snowman
84475 points | Wow, that's rough.
I'd be super, super pissed about that.
I think you should really sit down and think about what's more important to you.. recording a few tracks in a studio, or your marriage. |
calonso
Über Master Debater
8976 points | | Trust me, I know and I already feel bad about the whole thing. My marriage is important to me but my music is definatley important to me because that's who I am. I don't want to be put in a position of having to choose one or the other but my husband can't possibly support my art if he can't trust me on this. I know the situation is pretty f**ked up but right now Ryan is the only one who is serious about helping me with my music. |
lilbear
Über-Minister
19481 points | | Edited due to not enough info. |
jonnythan
Abominable Snowman
84475 points | lilbear said:
So my advice is tell hubby he comes a close second to your wants and leave him to let him find someone who will consider him her top priority.
you are going to cheat on hubby and hubby would have to be brain dead if he believed that you wouldn't.
You are not asking for advice you are asking for affirmation.
I'd really have to agree with that. |
angel21
Minister
11985 points | | Well i admire you, you know what u want and u go for it, your husband will get over it if he loves you. |
calonso
Über Master Debater
8976 points | | You're absolutely right lilbear I wasn't asking for advice on weather to go or not, I promised myself that I wouldn't miss another opportunity to get my music career started, especially on his account. I'm just asking how do I approach him with this, how do I make the news breaking easier if that's even possible. |
jonnythan
Abominable Snowman
84475 points | calonso said:
You're absolutely right lilbear I wasn't asking for advice on weather to go or not, I promised myself that I wouldn't miss another opportunity to get my music career started, especially on his account. I'm just asking how do I approach him with this, how do I make the news breaking easier if that's even possible.
I think the only honest thing to do would be to leave him. |
angel21
Minister
11985 points | jonnythan said:
I think the only honest thing to do would be to leave him.
How is that, when did she say she wanted her marraige to end |
jonnythan
Abominable Snowman
84475 points | angel21 said:
How is that, when did she say she wanted her marraige to end
Well, she's clearly willing to sacrifice her marriage to head 1800 miles away to record music with an ex she's sexually interested in.
In my opinion, which is what she asked for, staying in the marriage would be emotionally dishonest. |
angel21
Minister
11985 points | jonnythan said:
Well, she's clearly willing to sacrifice her marriage to head 1800 miles away to record music with an ex she's sexually interested in.
In my opinion, which is what she asked for, staying in the marriage would be emotionally dishonest.
No she didn't ask anyones opinion she asked how does she break it to her husband that she is going.
She never said she was willing to sacrifice her marraige either, jesus talk about twisting ppls words |
raditz8526
Monk
30743 points | angel21 said:
No she didn't ask anyones opinion she asked how does she break it to her husband that she is going.
She never said she was willing to sacrifice her marraige either, jesus talk about twisting ppls words
calonso said:
You're absolutely right lilbear I wasn't asking for advice on weather to go or not, I promised myself that I wouldn't miss another opportunity to get my music career started, especially on his account. I'm just asking how do I approach him with this, how do I make the news breaking easier if that's even possible.
Sounds to me like she's willing to sacrifice her marriage. |
lilbear
Über-Minister
19481 points | | Edited due to not enough info. |
angel21
Minister
11985 points | | Whats wrong with following your dream, and her husband obviously doesn't love or trust her enough to let her go. So he is the one sacrificing the marriage, when are men gonna learn jealous isn't an attractive feature. |
jonnythan
Abominable Snowman
84475 points | lilbear said:
So the question should have been; How do I tell my husband that no matter what he says, thinks or feels, she is still going.
Very well said, and that is the bottom line IMO.
lilbear said:
Bottom line she's already made the choice, now all she has to do is tell her husband she's leaving him.
Yeah, pretty much. Unless her husband wants to stay with her despite the fact that he's #2 or #3 in her life and she's probably cheating on him. |
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Going against my husbands wishes
