 blzn_cutie420
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Über-Meister
2162 points
18/F/Barrie, Canada
Join Date: Jun 2008 |
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Wow.. so yeah.. me and my boyfriend broke up about a month or so ago, although I have strong feelings for the guy, i really wasnt all that torn up about it.. more pissed than anything.. We still talk and have ever since we broke up, just its usually rly tense between us u kn.. n before n while we dated we were like so close n we got along so great.. we're like 2 peas in a pod, so to speak..
Well after some stupid drama, i decided what we needed was some time away from each other n just not talk for a while or something.. it sounds stupid, I know, I just couldnt take the fighting n the stress anymore.. AND to top it all off, he asked me if I was pregnant, which I didnt think I was at the time.. he said if I was I "had" to have an abortion and I was like no, I wont do that then he basically threatened me.. Not in so many words but he certainly implied it. I know that he beat up his ex gf, which is bad, yeah and I dont agree with it.. he did it once, he'll do it again.. blah blah, but i know the whole story there and I rly dont blame him one bit for doin what he did cuz if I was in his shoes, I likely would have done the same thing. Anyway.. he then tells me that a dif. ex of his was preg n he got her jumped by a bunch of chicks so she lost the baby.. whether or not I actually beleive that or not is another thing.. but he still said it u kno.. But yeah, I know for a fact, and from experience that very few if any chicks around here would even think about it.. cuz yeh.. just for reasons lol I'm not worried about that though.. I doubt he'd have the balls to..
But yeah, since then.. I found out that I AM pregnant.. n like basically, I'm f**ked. I wasnt going to tell him about it right away, but i couldnt not tell him cuz he deserves to kno as much as i do u kno.. so I told him.. and I also said that I really didnt care if he was around or not.. that I wasnt going to ask him to be.. then he tells me he "wants to be".. for me and the baby, after its born.. n he said a LOT of other things.. but I already know that his word aint worth s**t.. Like I want to beleive him, I just can't. And yea, havin him around would be nice.. but I'm not about to get back together with him just because I'm pregnant.. or after the baby is born.. What happened still happened and this doesnt change that.. the only person that can change that is him.. and he's gunna have to give me a damn good reason too!
But my basic situation is this: I'm renting a room from a friend of mine, and not working mostly because I live in the middle of nowhere and I dont drive, so it kind of makes things difficult.. and simply the lack of jobs in general.. and now I'm expectin a child that I have to care for u kno.. like i know I will find a way to do it.. I guess i'm just scared s**tless.
I wont abort it OR put it up for adoption because I just wont.. its against my morals.
I just dunno what I'm supposed to do.. I wanna do the right thing u kno, for everyone. I'm just not sure what that is.. | |
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So screwed right now..
