That parents of mixed race children think it’s their duty to try to demonstrate the good things about all races. So I’m probably guilty of that. People just don’t fall into neat little categories. Within my own family, I could handpick members to fit just about any stereotype that you have from my white family and my black family. But from that same group, I can also show you individuals that disprove those stereotypes on every point.

I remember my grandfather as very loving but very racist. In fact some of the last words he ever spoke were to ask why some (insert the infamous n-word here) was standing outside of his hospital room. I never thought of my parents as racist but I clearly remember the day my dad said to my mom that maybe it would be better for me to have an abortion than to have a "black baby". Still, they stood by me, helped me raise my son, loved him like their own, and modified the way they saw the world for us.

My mother-in-law who is almost 70 years old has also made her share of racist comments and has always given off an unmistakable distrust of white people since the day I met her. Still she managed to take care of her son all by herself, go to work every day without the assistance of even one food stamp, and can take credit for raising an awesome man. A guy who has worked for the government for 27 years, has never been arrested, and values his family above everything. But it wasn't until a year ago, 14 years after her son and I became a family, that she told me that she was glad her son had me and that I was her grandchildren's mom.

Overall I’d say both of our families have come a long way since we've been together but it hasn’t always been smooth sailing. The subject of racism is so complicated, but I think we’re convincing evidence that people can work through issues. Maybe one of these days conversations about race won't be so touchy, just maybe..that's my hope anyway.