 baby_grace
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Über-General
725 points
23/F/Johor Bahru, Malaysia
Join Date: Oct 2006 |
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Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
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Darkshine
Ogler
27837 points | Don't forget that alot of English is from alot of generations of illiterate idiots who made
names for things due to personal experiences/people.
But still, quite funny to analyze. |
loh_loh
Über-General
414 points | If you rake with a rake then shouldn't you broom with a broom?
I've always wondered about these things... |
kasabian
Minister
10017 points | | If its so bad why do so many people around the world speak it? |
Darkshine
Ogler
27837 points | kasabian said:
If its so bad why do so many people around the world speak it?
Coz America does.  |
cole
Minister
14178 points | | English is really a collection of other languages, we take alot of our words from Latin and French, and pretty much any other country that colonised/invaded us |
kasabian
Minister
10017 points | Quote:
English is really a collection of other languages, we take alot of our words from Latin and French, and pretty much any other country that colonised/invaded us
Its ok, we invaded more than invaded us  |
diamondjewel
Mega Über-Meister
3056 points | Yes they Say for foriegners english is the hardest to learn.Your entry reminded me of something my father taught us as kids,it goes....
one dark day in the middle of the night,
the pacific ocean caught a light,
the blind man saw it,
the deaf man heard it,
and the man with no legs came running around the corner,
called the fire brigade who got there before the pacific ocean caught a light. |
ion_hawk
General
366 points | | wow... lol that's so true! that's really cool |
ion_hawk
General
366 points | | wow... lol that's so true! that's really cool |
slade
Points Whore
778 points |  Well just learn to go with the flow and accept the English language. I have never had the brain power to learn any other talks.
Some of my mates are clever and can talk other lingos  It's taking me all my time to unnderstand English. |
loh_loh
Über-General
414 points | I only speak Latin and English. The latin helps with the english though!  |
slade
Points Whore
778 points | | Latin ??? If I am forced to I can understand a few bits |
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The crazy English language
