 baby_grace
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Über-General
725 points
23/F/Johor Bahru, Malaysia
Join Date: Oct 2006 |
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Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic ma** : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.
TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.
POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.
!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.
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Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
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Ok, after joining tfs for awhile now, this is my first attempt at writing in the journal and I have no idea how many of you would read this but oh well. I'm a 22 year old college student from Malaysia and am currently on holiday so yeah, I'm slacking away..haha. I guess for the next 2 months you will all see a lot of me and I hope to make many new friends so feel free to pm me if you would like to talk. New friendships are definitely welcomed!  | |
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Just something I stumbled upon..
