i wrote this poem. it is called Trial of Death.


A dark lonely road,
I am going down.
People are watching me,
while they wear a frown.
The life of a man,
is about to end.
As i make,
that final bend.
I am going,
to see Death's best.
As I go,
into eternal rest.

I'd change or remover the
"As i make,
that final bend."
bit, It sounds like your rhyming for the sake of rhyming if you know what I mean

All right, I like it

origionally it was worded like this:

origionally it was worded like this:

The life of a man,
is about to end,
as he makes,
that final bend.

it was al commas instead of the periods

I'm just saying, when I reasd those two lines, (no matter how theyre worded) rhyming end and bend...
It just soumds a bit... how can I put it... tacky

lol its alright that u think that. this was one of my first poems i ever wrote. i have 2 others on the forums if u or anyone wants to read them also.

kewl

that is brilliant god ur well talented


thers a gal, living this town, shes got her hed up in the sky but her feet are on the ground. wen the road gets kinda ruf she keeps 1 thing in mind, the longest journey strts with once upon a tym

poetry isnt the only thing im talented in lostangel

i bet lol

nah ur a sweet talker too


thers a gal, living this town, shes got her hed up in the sky but her feet are on the ground. wen the road gets kinda ruf she keeps 1 thing in mind, the longest journey strts with once upon a tym

lol i can be sweet without talking

cool!

ty pplz for posting on here.

awesome


Girl who can kick ur ass