is molestation somehow same as rape coz in both the victim is sexually abuse

but some how both r same right!

Yea they are both unwanted and forced.

its not the same thing because rape is being fored to have sexual intercourse and molestation is being touched sexually went you don't want to. so there not the same in anyway being forced to have sex with someone is nothing like being touched without your consent

is there any law against molestation as it is for rape

if a girl is molestated does it leave some psycological effects in her later life

if a person has suffered such so to whom she should be talking to.coz parents most likely dont understand their kids

Yeah parents do understand thier kids, but there are tons of charities and help sites on the net where you can get professional advice.

In my personal opinion its best not to dwell on it. Most of us have something horrible happen to us where he had no control on the situation. And it does change us in a way, it will affect us. But i feel that to constantly dwell on it, to remain a victim actually stops you leading a normal life.

So if you have been molested, tell your parents, tell someone, seek some help, then put it behind you and get on with as normal a life as you can. The longer you dwell on it the longer you are a victim, and we can all choose to not be a victim.

thanx thats a big help

I'm sorry treebee but I have to compleatly disagree. I co-admin a survivor site where survivors (we do NOT call ourselves victims coz we have survived and will continue to do so by fighting the results of the abuse/rape) work together and support eachother in overcomming the effects of abuse on their lives.

If a person lives in denial and tries to push the memories to the back of their mind then it is allowed to keep effecting them MORE because they aren't dealing with wot it has done to them! You can't stop abuse from effecting you and many people who have been through abuse, assult or rape suffer from post traumatic stress disorder with intrusive flashbacks and overwelming feelings triggered by sometimes everyday items, sights, smells, sensations etc. Many survivors find themselves reacting or feeling in ways they don't want to and feel their life is being poisened by the abuse no matter how hard they try not to let it effect them (and trust me most survivors try with all their strength to not let it effect them or even to block out the fact that it happened at all)

Also being told to try to get over it breeds shame which will then make the person INTO a victim by taking away their voice and making them afraid to talk about wot happened or admit to the effects it does have on them in the present.

When a survivor begins to admit wot happened and how it is effecting them and to reach out for the support of both profesionals (councelers) and others who have been thro similar experiences to help empower them to get their life and reactions back to healthy ones instead of being held hostage to the feelings and fears that an experience like being abused or raped naturally has (often including learnt behaviours or instincts to try to prevent the possibility of being hurt again as well as flashbacks, depression, panic disorders, disterbed sleep, avoiding certain situations or activities, becoming withdrawn or agresive, becoming overly sexual or compleatly asexual and many other either concious or subconcious reactions) THEN they begin to REALLY get over it!

No survivor can 'just get over it'...and those that think they can or try to will often end up MORE effected (although they often may deny it to themself coz they have been conditioned to feel admitting it would be 'weak') than those who have support and are given the opotunity to openly struggle and be helped for as long as they need emediately after the event.

Please never add to the suffering of a survivor by telling them to 'get over it' or 'try not to let it effect them' or 'not to dwell on it'
Wot some people see as 'dwelling' is actually very nessasary to work thro the pain and STOP it having such a lasting effect on the rest of the persons life.
Being able to talk it thro as many times as they need to and to ask for help or at least understanding and recognision in wot they'r struggling with is important if a person is ever to be free of the shadow over their life.

Also the time after being abused or asulted is like greiving...grieving for wot happened to you and wot it took from you...for the person you might have been if events had been different and for the way you would have wanted things to be.
You wouldnt tell a person whose dearest relitive had just died to 'just forget them' (or at least i hope you wouldnt) so how can you think that it's ok to tell someone to just forget that their self image, safety, self assurance, piece of mind, view of the world and possibly of the person who hurt them if it was (as a high proportion of rapes and molestations are) commited by someone they already knew, have been snatched from them in this cruel and inhuman act of abuse!
Please have more respect than that.

I'm not talking without experience or knolage here. I do have both personal experience and also enough experience of other survivors to know wot I'm talking about.


I also want to say that in my understanding the definition of molestation is being sexually assulted in any way short of full penitration. Rape is being forced or coerced into having sex that you don't want.

...and if anyone has been either molested, abused in any way or raped then I would ask them to please get support from someone...a friend, a trained therapist, a support group, a support forum (I can recomend a couple of good ones including mine and my partners one)...just dont try to cope with the effects n feelings alone and dont feel like you shouldnt be effected or be feeling any way that you are over it.

If anyone needs an ear then I'd be happy for them to message me anytime.

I have to say even tho i have read many of your posts today and i have agreed with all your opinions with this one i really do disagree..i am admin and created the site that Rebel heart is referring to..and if you saw the damage done to these survivors and they are survivors NOT victims..of rape..childhood abuse, or domestic violence, molestation..
there is no way on earth you can just get on with it and leave it behind..you can kid yourself that you can block it away..but if you dont work through it let yourself work through it and give yourself permission to heal..the damage that could be done will be even worse..

If this does happen to any one then they need if they can to get support even if they feel unable to tell or report it..they must talk to someone..it is a harrowing and awful thing to deal with no matter if it be rape or molestation..and will need support not to be told to just leave it behind and get on with it..

I am A survivor myself so i do have the experience and i also deal with people who have been through these things every day of my life..its what i do is help and support survivors..

Ijust don't want someone to read this thread and suddenly have had something happen and then feel there is something wrong with them because they cannot cope with what happened to them and feel they should be able to ..because that was the impression given by that response..

It is important people know that no matter how small the incident was or is..they can and do deserve the support to get through it..

One thing also is that parents do not always understand..or always believe either ..mine did not!!
I can understand what you said about getting help and then trying to leave it behind and live a normal life..but it really is not that simple and sadly i think most survivors will tell you even tho they do try to do this..once these things have happened you wont feel that you are normal or living a normal life..it changes you..your thoughts your feelings the way you see and process things..
I wish it was not that way and it was easier but it just isn't..