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Marcussextus On November 25, 2014




Adelaide, Australia
#1New Post! Oct 17, 2014 @ 03:39:57
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won !!

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the next race, and it won that race too.

The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
a** OUT FRONT.


The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another
races.

The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST a** IN TOWN!!

The Bishop fainted ..

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey as soon as possible.

So she sold it to a local farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN
SELLS a** FOR $10.


This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey, and take it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER a** IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is .. .. being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's a** and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Have a nice day ....
Marcussextus On November 25, 2014




Adelaide, Australia
#2New Post! Oct 17, 2014 @ 03:44:45
(“Aphorism - a short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or a general truth”).

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humour you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - for example, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap
15. Be careful about reading the fine print; there's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realise that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
18. Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Ford.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a gift.

And REMEMBER....

"POLITICIANS AND NAPPIES SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"
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