What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

If someone has made up their mind that they are going to have an abortion no matter what, wouldn't it be best to not tell the guy that got them pregnant? What good would come from it? Isn't it less selfish to save him from the potential hurt of knowing?

If the man who got you pregnant is a close friend/partner. Trust is single
most important quality your relationship can have.

You should tell them. It'll be hard, but it undoes any wrongs between there and
stops you having to battle on your own in the future.

That would be my way of thinking if someone were going to do something so selfish. I mean, what sense would it make to say something "after" the fact.

..Though my feelings are, that the woman should tell the man beforehand, (after all, it is his child too), and come to a mutual decision - or at least try to..
I think women who do this, do it because they dont want the child and are definite about that, and feel that the man may feel otherwise, then they won't have an easy choice..

Bottom line, they made that baby together, - it is his "right" to know that she is pregnant.

Maybe he has a right to know but since he is unable to make the final decision, it is probably best to spare him from it all.

Unable to make the final decision?
Meaning you are going to do it regardless? Is this what you are saying?

Yes, this is what I am saying. What would be the point in telling him then, unless I wanted to hurt him?

I would think probably so,..
but my guess is that you are hurting..and maybe even a little unsure of what you should do? Perhaps the reason why you have started this topic?
..Unfortunately, that is something only you can decide.
But one thing Iam sure of, once it is done, then it is "done", and there is no going back.

Please, for your own peace of mind, make certain this is something that you absolutely want to do.

No one can make this decision for you hun...only that people are here to support you whatever you decide

You must do what you feel is right, as this is a personal matter of your own heart. Beleive in yourself to make that right decision and upon that decision know that you will have support upon it.

I think it depends on the relationship you have with the father.

If he was a one night stand then I don't think he needs to know.

If you are in a relationship with him, I think it is important that to tell him. Trust is very important in a relationship. I think that if you are in a relationship that you should tell the father before the abortion.

a child binds you to a person for a lifetime, whether you see the father or not, you will see him in your child.

I used to think the same way, and under certain circumstances i would do the same. But mostly i would tell the father that i was pregnant and wanted to abort.

I think it is best to tell the father of your child. Then maybe you can make the decision together.

That is disgusting, wrong and totally immoral. It is more selfish to go ahead and kill a baby, without giving the potential father the chance to have an input.

I am sorry, but to say it is the womans choice is a load of bollocks, it is not JUST her child, it is the mans as well, and to deprive him of that right is downright low.

If you don't want the child, maybe he does - why not give him the chance to raise it alone if he wants to.

It is his child to!

I would say that is a choice you and only you can make. When I was married to my children's father, we fought constantly..He was an alcoholic and abusive husband. I had 2 small children, 2 yrs and 6 months when I got pregnant with my third child. I was very mentally
unstable at that time, due to all the stress in my marriage. I had already had an appointment to be fixed so when I went in for the appointment I talked to the doctors and scheduled for an abortion.
I did not tell the father, 1..he never would have approved, 2.. no way would I ever allow him to raise one of our children..3..I knew eventually that I would divorce him.

To this day..30 years later, I still do not regret having the abortion, and I do not regret not telling the father.

As crazy as it is...the government has given you the choice.Have you ever seen an Abortion?
Just think about it..."momma?,Please help me!!There hurting me....Just wait till my momma finds out that you are hurting me....Oh thats right she does not give a crap about me at this point because i am not able to look her in the face."

One day there will be a lot of mothers with a lot of explaining to do.