Therapists Who State The Obvious

Over the years I've worked with many psychotherapists in my battle with mental illness.  And while many of them have given me a new perspective by giving me advice that I had never thought of, I've found that some other therapists state the obvious way too much.

For example, I've had some therapists tell me that if someone is rude to me and others, maybe they're just having a bad day, and that it's nothing personal.  And people who hurt others have come from unhappy backgrounds. 

Well gee, I could have gotten the same type of advice talking to Joe Blow on the street!

When I see a therapist, I expect them to give me advice that either I've never heard before, or give me advice that I've heard before, but worded in a different way.

What do I mean?

Instead of a therapist telling me that it's,"nothing personal," a therapist telling me that when someone is rude to you doesn't mean the person hates you or is trying to hurt you.  It means the same thing, but it's worded in a way that I've never heard before, which for me is a lot more effective that a therapist stating the obvious.

Well, I am not a therapist, I was once on the way to becoming a philosopher when I stopped and realised just how pointless that was so I can only speak from that perspective... but I can assure you that whatever people do, they do 100% of their own volition for their own reasons. Pretty much every human that has ever existed is focused overwhelmingly on themselves. That is just the way we are. In all honestly I am not sure we are even capable of anything else. That is important to remember.

If someone is rude to you, who cares? We are not perfect. None of us are so good that everyone should like us, and it is therefore pointless to take it personally when someone is rude to or actively hates us. It sucks, but it's life. It doesn't make us bad people. Just like there are people that I do not like and do not want to be around. They are not bad or evil people, I just do not like them and want them to die a slow painful death on video so I can watch it over and over while I ... woops.

Bob, I agree with you that someone being rude to me isn't a huge deal. Years ago I hated it. But now I handle it much better.

However, I was able to overcome this problem with therapists who didn't state the obvious, therapists that I thought were very good at what they do. Other therapists whom I worked with didn't help me as much, in part, because they stated the obvious.

I think some therapists are better than others.

So how does that make you feel?

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It's nothing personal? A therapist is telling you this? So basically it's okay if they treat you like s*** (rude) because they are having a bad day, and it's nothing personal?

Let me tell you. It doesn't get any MORE personal. When a person is rude, directly to another. It doesn't get any more personal than that.
So they are having a bad day. What happened to growing the f*** up, and biting back on their anger, and treating others who have nothing to do with their freaking "bad day", with the respect they deserve?

I would get my money back from these "therapists". It would be one thing if they told you that some people are immature selfish babies, who take out their frustrations on others because they've never learnt to deal with their frustrations. And for you to try to not let it get to you, or to ruin your day.
That. Is the more likely scenario anyway. And the best advice because of it.
But their advice?? Wow.

Your next session, pick up the nearest ashtray or candy dish and smash it against the wall. When the therapist looks shocked tell him or her that you are just having a bad day, it's nothing "personal".

Therapists can give you a new perspective.

But the ones who state the obvious too much aren't going to give me a new perspective...not to say that all shrinks state the obvious too much.

I've heard that most "talk" based therapy doesn't really do jacks*** for a lot of people. You can spend years and years and lots and lots of money and still be f***ed up. LOL.

Sucks, hopefully I'm wrong and all of the anecdotal stuff I've heard is wrong. It would be nice to think that if you do certain things you can pull yourself out of the muck.

Yeah especially when the rapist is probably more f***ed up than the client, when the truth is known.

How about this: If someone is rude to you they might be just having a bad day, it might be nothing personal, said person might have come from an unhappy background...maybe the person hates you or maybe the person doesn't even like you enough to hate you, maybe the person is trying to hurt you, or maybe the person is just a rude ass-tard and your feelings are insignificant to said person... and maybe your therapist is super smart and brilliant or maybe he/she is a money grabbing scum bag who doesn't give a s*** about you except for your money.

The real question is:

What are you going to do about it?

Are you going to perseverate endlessly about what these other people think and why?

I watched an old episode of " maude " last week on tv.

maude ( bea Arthur ) went to a pyschologist ( I felt that psychologists, therapists and other doctors that dealt the brain. the only different few actually allow to prescribe medicine and the others, give you just listen and good advice. by the end of this episode even today, still fell this way, and professional and by law, this correct way. )

so, maude literally a mental breakdown lost difference of reality and disillusion.

what happen that maude thought if she thought henry fonda ( who actually guest star to played himself on the show. ) maude want henry to run for president of the united states.

maude literally brothering henry to point obsessed into like a stalker, but that not why henry went to see maude. henry threat maude to stop the ridiculously pursuit that he would be involve with this nonsense. he said he would never want run for the office, he want interest at all. henry left maude's house, he was invited to her house for champaign party..

about a couple of days or a week later, not listen to henry, maude continued the champaign. that evening, maude got a telegram from henry. henry said in the gram. if maude doesn't stop this now, he will get his lawyer and the police and force her to stop.

maude face the reality now, this literally crush her in depression. in the 70's, I remember that first time, that tv dealt with " mass depression'.

the episode that I was talking about above, after " the henry fonda incident ". this episode was one woman show, mean bea Arthur was in a psychologist's office alone talking to an empty chair through the episode.

maude talking to the phantom doctor in the chair, she tell that she doesn't belong there, she is humor everybody in her family and friends that why she is here.

she found by talking to him that he wasn't said anything to her, she was opening more to him. she found out that her father love her, but as child , she didn't understand his love for her.

at this end of the episode, maude thought she was cure and she didn't need to come back to him anymore. so she open the doctor's door, she convince that she was ok, and work it out on her own. then she said goodbye, and close the door.

about a second later, maude open the door and to then doctor, " I see you next Friday, or probably Monday, I will be see you three times a week. " then she again, she close the door.

that's end the episode.

only went once, a bereavement councillor, walked out after about 10 minutes, I didn't like it at all, complete strangers poking into your private soul with their posh office and expensive motor outside, making money off other people's misery.not for me at all.