Puns for the memories

This is your opportunity to tell us your sickest puns...

Hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder? He ended up getting a little behind in his work!

Why didn't the cyclist enter the unicycle race? He was 2 tired.

When attacked by a mob of angry clowns, go for the juggler.

It's not a walk of shame if you strut.

The breast exam was going great, until she remembered she was here for a job interview.

Remember back when you could strangle people with your phone cord? Those were the days...

The 5 second rule for dropping food on the floor doesn't work if you have a 2 second dog.

I saw a chameleon today, so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one.

I may not be all that fast
But I'm not the slowest.
I'm half-assed

Sign in a Bar:
Liq'er in the front
Poke'r in the rear

Let me guess...that bar was in Greece!

A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.