Nice Guys finish last, The truth. And being "Yourself"

Quote:
This is one of the oldest myths about dating. And fortunately, its inaccurate. The dating dichtomy isnt actually between nice guys and mean guys or good boys and bad boys. Its between weak guys and strong guys. Women are drawn to men who demonstrate strength, not necessarily physical strength, but the ability to make them feel safe. So if your a nice guy, you can carry on being a nice guy. But you must also be strong.
However make sure you know what nice means. Most guys who define themselves as being "Too Nice" only behave nicely because they want everybody to like them and dont want anybody to think badly of them. SO if this is you, get off your high horse. Dont mistake being fearful and weak-minded for being nice.

Quote:
This only works if you know exactly who you are, what your strengths are and how to convey them sucessfully. Most often, this statement is used as an excuse not to improve. What most of us present to the world isnt our true self. Its a a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behaiviour. Our real self lies buried beneath all of the insecurities and inhabitions. So rather than just beig yourself, focus on discovering and bringing to the surface your best self.

@jmo Said

I disagree.

In my experience most girls like confidence, it just so happens that 'nice' guys tend not to be as confident I think.

I pretend I'm a lot more confident than I actually am and that does for me. That's in all social situations though, not just talking to girls. I've tended to find acting more confident than I feel opens doors and in a weird way actually makes me feel more confident generally.

@Leon Said

That's basically what he quoted was saying.

@jmo Said

Not exactly, what he quoted suggested that strength was important, and someone trying to be liked by everyone wouldn't succeed.

You can be confident and liked by everyone, in fact I think confident people are most likely to be liked by everyone.

I say that as a confident person who is liked by everyone.

@Leon Said

What's the difference? It wasn't talking about physical strength - even said that. It was talking about the kind of strength you are talking about.

Either way, you are right. Confidence is the difference. Many "nice guys" are just weak in that department.

@jmo Said

I disagree.

In my experience most girls like confidence, it just so happens that 'nice' guys tend not to be as confident I think.

I pretend I'm a lot more confident than I actually am and that does for me. That's in all social situations though, not just talking to girls. I've tended to find acting more confident than I feel opens doors and in a weird way actually makes me feel more confident generally.

@jmo Said

Difference is that confidence is easy to bluff, whilst remaining a nervous wreck on the inside completely paranoid about the idea that someone, somewhere might dislike you.

@jmo Said

Difference is that confidence is easy to bluff, whilst remaining a nervous wreck on the inside completely paranoid about the idea that someone, somewhere might dislike you.

@townie_guy Said

By acting confident, you are more confident. Do it enough and you stop acting you actually become more confident. If acting more confident opens more doors for you, what have you to be un confident about.

@Leon Said

This too. It goes hand in hand.

@jmo Said

I disagree.

In my experience most girls like confidence, it just so happens that 'nice' guys tend not to be as confident I think.

@Sparklegirl Said

My guy always comes across as confident and that was the thing that made me so disinterested in him quite ironic that