Hello evrbdy.
How about a thread on sober, hilarious etc. different kinds of jokes, puns, funny quotes, graduate jokes, subject jokes (the subject u hated or loved in school)! Please post ur favorite jokes here. Oh yaaah, forgot about sad jokes...they shd b welcome too.

let me start:

1.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

2.
"I was born in California."
"Which part?"
"All of me. My mother says"


3.

TEN WAYS TO ANNOY UR WAITER
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"

8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"

7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".

6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"

5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"

3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"

1. Three words: eat the check.

see ya.

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style7Kyoshiro.png">

sure...quips entertain us really to the buts of the mind.

seems TFS guys n gals are busy contemplating sth. which is nt humorous! is it!

neway, here goes one more:


Because a turkey is for Christmas, not for Life...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

PLATO: For the greater good.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.


RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.


FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying feelings of insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.


DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Little girl. "To get to the other side?"

A blonde needs some extra cash and decided to earn by being a 'handyman'--fixing odd things and making repairs where needed. She decides the best course of action would be to start knocking door-to-door in a rich neighborhood. She spends most of the morning knocking on doors and getting polite "no's", and even a few doors slammed in her face.
Finally she knocks on one door, recites her line, and waits as the man ponders her proposition. Finally he says:
"Sure, I'll hire you. My porch needs to be painted. There are about a dozen cans of beige paint in the garage out back. You can get started right away."
"Great!" she said. "How much will you pay me?"
He thinks some more and says, "Fifty dollars, how's that?"
"That's great, thanks."
She goes off to the garage to get the paint, and the guy goes back inside his house. His wife heard everything he said and repremands him as soon as he gets inside. "That poor girl--only 50$ for a porch that wraps all around our house! That's really not fair. She didn't know what she was getting into." The husband assures her, the blonde was standing on the porch and knew exactly how big it was when she agreed to paint.
They go about her routine, not expecting her to be done for about a week. An hour later, then get a knock on the door.
The guy goes to open it, and there's the blonde, smiling.
"I finished painting it. I gave it a few coats, but there were still a few cans of paint left over, so I put them back in the garage."
The man is extremely happy to have the job done so incredibly quickly, so he hands her the money plus another fifty for working so fast.
She accepts with a smile and starts walking away. She's down the steps when she turns around and says:
"By the way, it's not a Porshe, it's a Ferarri."



If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk. *scoffs* Little kids...

haha all r nice


Women Jokes Birthday Jokes

This was the dumbest commercial I have ever seen but my all time favorite corny joke

This was in a car commerical

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

A: Because seven eight nine

hahaha, so corny


Lust is easy, Love is hard, Like is Most Important

LOL