@sister_of_mercy Said
Yeah I've heard some horror stories about the whole ex-communication thing, makes me wonder why people fall into the trap of becoming one in the first place. It seems unnecessarily judgemental really, especially when children are coerced in that way- it's hardly their fault that they were born into a JW family.
I am a disfellowshipped person so I am qualified to talk about it.
whether you see it as judgemental or not, it is a command from the scriptures that unruly ones, ones who don't follow the tenets of the faith are disfellowshipped.
However it is never an instant process. There are a few counselling sessions to go through first to try to sort out the problems and bring the erring one back into the fold. Only if that fails and the errant one refuses to repent of what they have done do they get disfellowshipped.
As for shunning, the scriptural exhortation is:-
1 Corinthians 5:9-13 "In my letter I wrote YOU to quit mixing in company with fornicators, 10 not [meaning] entirely with the fornicators of this world or the greedy persons and extortioners or idolaters. Otherwise, YOU would actually have to get out of the world. 11 But now I am writing YOU to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. 12 For what do I have to do with judging those outside? Do YOU not judge those inside, 13 while God judges those outside? “Remove the wicked [man] from among yourselves."
It may seem harsh, but it sin't, and the hope is always there that such a one will eventually repent and return to the fold. However once it reaches that point it take a while for the elders to be convinced that the errant one really means it.
It is not something they do lightly.
I don;t doubt you have heard some "horror stories" some who get disfellowshipped resent such discipline, and turn against the Congregations in bitterness, however anyone who respects God's arrangements accepts it.All their getting bitter about it proves that they were not truly of the right sort in the first place.
It is however a situation that can be abused by some, but all "offences" have to be proved at the mouth of two witnesses, so in theory someone only has to find one other person prepared to lie about something and they can cause the Christian to be disfellowshipped. That is of course exactly what happened to Jesus at his fake Sanhedrin "trial". If that happens the one who has been accused is in a tricky situation. They either express repentance for something they didn't do, or they are disfellowshipped. The trouble being that to confess something that you haven't done is to lie, so it is an invidious position to be put in.
Some would see it as a weakness in the system, and maybe it is, but only God is perfect and humans cannot know the truth of everything, and any system can be abused, especially when that system relies to an extent on trust.
However it is God's arrangement, and therefore has to be accepted. Any "miscarriages of justice" has to be left to Jehovah to sort out, which, if the sufferer is patient He will do. However not all are that patient, nor have such strong faith as to withstand it and so they give up.