I'm 37 and never had a girlfriend. Please help with advice.

Hello everyone, I need your help.
I am 37 year old and never had a girlfriend. Apart from one brief fling when I was 24 years old, I have never even kissed a woman for over 12 years. I am very depressed about it. This one fact alone is ruining all other areas of my life. Are there many guys like me on this website?

Until I was about 33, I was a reclusive. But in the last 2 years, I have been pushing myself out to meet women. Using books about picking up women, I am getting myself to approach women random in every day places. But even here, I do get nervous before initiating a chat with a girl at a train station or in a supermarket.

I live in London, England. Women are everywhere. Yet, I feel so lonely. What can I do to change my situation? Also, ladies, can you tell if a guy hasn?t been with a woman for a long time? Do you have a 6th sense for detecting men like me?

What will you do in my situation? I feel like a freak because I never had a girlfriend. There is nothing physically wrong with me. Women have said that I have a great smile. And I am happy with a body that is almost as good as Enrique?s ! I used to be very shy. But I have overcome that. Sometimes, I wonder if it is the colour of my skin. My skin is very dark. I am originally from South-East Asia. I look a bit like a dark-skinned, shaven-headed Tom Cruise! But I?m not having success with women of any races. I have been rejected by white, black and Asian girls.

This forum is a last resort to me. Please help. I?d love to hear from anyone who had a similar experience to mine. How can a man cope? Not having had a girlfriend and being 37 is really crippling me.

I used to be the same way.... well, for one, try not caring about what other people want from you... after you've done that, become what YOU want to be, or become more like it. then, become a people person....if you've done that, then it should really help you meet women.

Why? You have so much freedom as a single man.

Do whatever the hell you want as long as it's not illegal.





Joo know joo want to... 8)

You just havent found the right girl.
nothing wrong with that.

I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time, either.

No, but seriously. There's nothing wrong with you. People these days are just plain superficial. You'll find the right one when the time comes.

Take heart, about the time you're ready to give up, a lady will come along, find you all alone at the bar peeling the labels off of beer bottles, and will change your life.
A few short years after that, you'll miss being single.

Perhaps because you want it so bad, you are trying too hard and it comes off as being desperate or insecure.

Good for you to get out there. It must have been hard to take that first step.

Perhaps you can take one of those public speaking classes or one of those classes for flirting.

I wish you all the best.

Thank you so much for those words. I keep telling myself that I am a "people's person." But over 33 years of being uncomfortable with socialising means every encounter is a challenge. I feel as though I been in prison for 33 years when I have actually imprioned myself within my own fears.

But Peach09,
some guys keep finding the "right girls" all the time. Would you consider it a 'turn off' if you found out that a guy in his 30s has never had a girlfriend? Would that stop you from going out with him?
Also, can you tell if a guy hasn't been with a woman for a long time?
You ladies supposed to have a 6th sense for things like these !

That's comforting to hear. Most guys won't admit to not having had a girlfriend for a long time.

I do find most 21st century women very superficial. Why do you think that is? On my Facebook network, most of the girls are always discussing other men in term of physical appearance. They compare men they fancy to Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Vin Diesel, and Brad Pitt. If some of us don't remind those girls of these superstars, we are not that fanciable. What do you think?

I have to remember what you written here. You might just be right with these words. I do wonder what it would be like to "miss" being single!

Be yourself and try meeting women on a friend basis first. Get yourself out and about dont try to hide the fact you havent had a girlfriend before, be honest. I mean it dosent have to be the first thing you say about yourself but it will come up eventually. Women like to know these things but we cant really tell for sure. Enjoy your life as it is and dont put to much pressure on yourself to find someone. It sounds like you just havent met right person yet and havent put yourself out there enough for that to happen.

Thanks for your thoughts DorkySupergirl!

May be I am coming across as insecure. I do want to end my conditon of this perpetual girlfriendless-ness. I am working hard as if it were a Presidential campaign! There is nothing else that I want more than to wake up next to someone one morning and to hear her say that this guy is "my boyfriend."

I have done the public speaking. And it has given me enormous help when I speak to women. And I do feel superior to most other men out there. This is why I find it frustrating that I am not getting 'chosen'.

Anyway, if any of you know some other guy who went through a similar problem, do share that information with us. It could help guys like myself.

Thanks everyone.

Great words Rach.

I do hide the fact that I have never had a girlfriend. Your advice does make me think. When I am getting to know a girl, sometimes she does ask a question like "How many women have you slept with?" And I always politely refuse to answer.

If I tell a girl that I have never had a girlfriend, won't she go and mention this to her girlfriends. This is my fear. I have this vision of women, just like in Sex And the City, sitting in coffee shops and sharing secrets about the men in their lives !
This is why I am so afraid of telling anyone in the real world about my embarrassing condition.

Thanks for taking the time to give me your words. In fact, all your responses makes me feel better. This forum does work !

Just so you know, I'm a girl.

Most American women are shallow, mainly because they are brought up in a superficial society where appearances seem to mean more than one's personality. I honestly wouldn't date such girls if all they wanted was a one-night stand with a hot guy just so they could brag to their slutty friends.

What attracts me in people, both men and women, is their genuine personality. If they meet my standards and vice versa, then a good healthy relationship may begin.