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Healthy self esteem vs. conceited?

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Jennifer1984
Olympic Junkie





Penzance, United Kingdom
#31New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 06:25:06
@Grasshopper Said

What's the borderline between conceited and having a good self-esteem?

Does calling yourself smart and pretty make you stuck up? Or can that just be haters making one feel bad?




If you're concerned about what other people may think of you, then it's possible that there is a touch of conceit about you....

Of course none of us wants to be unpopular, but there are times when a person feels so strongly about something that they feel they must act or speak out regardless of the personal consequences. That's self esteem. Why..? Because it is important to be true to yourself and your beliefs.

The only person in the world you can never lie to is yourself. We all have to (metaphorically) look at ourselves in the bathroom mirror every day and ask ourselves if we like what we see. Do we want to see a person who sold out their own beliefs so that others would "like" them..?

And what does that say about the people whose popularity we court...? If those people would only "like" us if we share their views, or agree with their opinions, then is their friendship worth having..?

A number of people won't talk to me on this site because of some of the things I have said about the USA. Well, that's up to them. If they are so shallow that they can't take up the argument and attempt to counter my points, but rather,they throw a hissy fit and reach for the Ignore button, then I will lose no sleep over that.

Check out my siggy (below). The man who made the quote, Giovanni Falcone was a Sicilian judge, who took on the Mafia and was responsible for many very high ranking mafiosi in Italy being imprisoned. It cost him his life. He was blown up by a bomb placed by the Mafia. He lived his life under constant threat, and had to be surrounded by bodyguards 24 / 7, but he didn't quit. He carried on until they eventually killed him.

The Italian people went into mourning. A simple public official, from a poor island became a symbol of truth, integrity and justice because he refused to give in. His name is revered in Italy today and he is an inspiration still, to those who follow in his wake.

He was not a conceited man, not vain nor arrogant, but he spoke his truth and to hell with the consequences. He had true self esteem. This was a man who could look in the bathroom mirror and not feel shame at the reflection which came back at him.

Read my siggy and think about it. You'll get a better idea about where I'm coming from on a number of issues. I will argue my case vigorously and I will defend my position on anything with all my might, but I'll admit when I'm proven wrong and hold my hands up and respect the person who showed me the error of my ways. Those who spit their dummies out and retort "I'm-not-talking-to-you-anymore" deserve nothing but scorn, contempt and slight regard.

I don't suggest for one moment, that I am on a par with Giovanni Falcone, but I do believe that I share the same values, and when you read his words, you may understand why I feel that I too, can look myself in the face and call it self respect and dignity.

But never vanity.


.
On about 15 hours ago
Tirade__




P00pville,
#32New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 06:46:06
Healthy self esteem is almost impossible for the human race. I feel like we all either feel like we are scum or like we are better than everyone else. It is easy to get high on the smell of your own s***! So many people I have encountered believe that the money they have, clothes they wear, house they own, who they know, and the job they have makes them above everyone who is not just like them. That makes me sick. Is this self esteem? "I love the way I look and I am so smart"...uh sounds arrogant (CONCEITED). I have an idea of what "healthy self esteem" might be: I have worked hard, done the best I can, and there are people who rely on (need) me. It is rare to meet anyone who is not stuck up their a** and if they are not stuck up their a** they constantly kick their own a** because they feel worthless. I feel like a trashy fatass who was "gifted" by my parents with some of the worst psychological and physical genetic traits. People should make eachother feel happy and motivate eachother, instead of being self-serving 24/7..that may spread healthy self esteem. m a y b e
link [content.pimp-my-profile.com]
On October 08, 2010
Johnny_shade




Casper, Wyoming
#34New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 07:05:41
@Grasshopper Said

What's the borderline between conceited and having a good self-esteem?

Does calling yourself smart and pretty make you stuck up? Or can that just be haters making one feel bad?



I like being conceited. I'm a charmingly handsome intellectual! I always tell people my son is handsome like his daddy
On October 28, 2011
Mysteria
I Am Rogue!





A Small Town, Texas
#35New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 07:08:54
@Johnny_shade Said

I like being conceited. I'm a charmingly handsome intellectual! I always tell people my son is handsome like his daddy



You sound like my dad!
On May 19, 2014
sTreetAngeL
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#36New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 12:50:57
@Grasshopper Said

What's the borderline between conceited and having a good self-esteem?

Does calling yourself smart and pretty make you stuck up? Or can that just be haters making one feel bad?



Behaving confidently is the key. It's not necessary to voice how you feel about yourself. Your actions should show all. And that's pretty much all that you need.

Usually, the ones mouthing off about how wonderful they are, are the most insecure. Of course, there are exceptions I suppose, where some may try their best to drag others down, and the confident is then forced to verbally remind them that it won't work; but usually this is a waste of time in my opinion...If one feels truly good with themself, these tactics won't effect them in the first place.
On July 27, 2014
sTreetAngeL
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#37New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 12:58:06
@Grasshopper Said



It IS new to me. My people (in person) only respect down to earth people, and hate snobs. So I just have no idea. lol



Well I'm down to earth; yet I fit all your criteria of a snob too it seems.


I think you just need to focus, and perhaps learn? To feel good about yourself, and to let it show. To treat others well, and kind while doing so. And all else should eventually begin to come into focus and make sense to you.

(Sometimes ppl will call others snobs if they feel they themselves can't improve...they get scared seeing someone else changing for the better, and out of that fear, they work to try and hold them back too. Learn to spot this in people. )
On July 27, 2014
sTreetAngeL
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#38New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 13:03:13
@Grasshopper Said

And is it normal to feel physical pain just by trying to think good of myself?



If you are suffering clinical depression, then yes, it is possible from my understanding of the effects that depression can have on a person.
On July 27, 2014
GSnap
The Edit Queen!





Over the Rainbow,
#39New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 13:05:20
@sTreetAngeL Said


(Sometimes ppl will call others snobs if they feel they themselves can't improve... they get scared seeing someone else changing for the better, and out of that fear, they work to try and hold them back too. Learn to spot this in people. )


True.

Often other people are like mirrors of ourselves and sometimes when we look into that reflection that is them, we see what we fear most about ourselves...and that is what scares people and often makes them feel such ill feelings and contempt toward others.
On May 11, 2013
sTreetAngeL
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#40New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 13:14:27
@Mysteria Said

I say positive things about myself in my mom's presence because she's so quick to point out every little thing she finds wrong with me. She's got such a superior attitude and it's hard to be around that kind of person very often. I've listened to her badmouth heavy people and make fun of people's looks in general for decades. If I feel like saying I'm cute and intelligent, I will (even though I was taught that it's bragging) because if I don't build myself up, she'll just knock me down lower than I may be feeling when she's around. I've also started defending other people by saying "He/she looks nice to me." Sometimes she'll say she knows she shouldn't be cutting people down after I speak up. Don't wait until you're 42 to start sticking up for yourself.



I think you should voice these ideas to your mother. If you are right, she will realize you are on to her, feel ashamed/angry, and stop...eventually, enough of handling her in this way, and she will be too scared to try and manipulate you verbally.
Exercise that intellect girl! Right in front of her!!
On July 27, 2014
boxerdc

Deleted



,
#41New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 14:10:48
On December 18, 2012
boobear
Mrs P





London, United Kingdom
#42New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 14:13:58
I don't have much of a clue as I've never managed to get anywhere close to either but I'm guessing it's something like when you think you're better than everyone else because you think you look better than them
On August 21, 2014
lil_bear01

Deleted



In my igloo, Canada
#43New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 14:19:47
Self esteem is being able to walk around and consider yourself equal to others, but still down to earth enough not to belittle others because you are finally comfortable with yourself.

Self esteem= Content with yourself and empathizing with others on any level.

Conceited= Overly self centered always thinking you are THE person and not being able to interact with others because your focus and attention is all on your self being, completely.
On February 18, 2011
Bimbo

Deleted
Banned



, Monaco
#44New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 20:03:50
@Jennifer1984 Said

If you're concerned about what other people may think of you, then it's possible that there is a touch of conceit about you....

Of course none of us wants to be unpopular, but there are times when a person feels so strongly about something that they feel they must act or speak out regardless of the personal consequences. That's self esteem. Why..? Because it is important to be true to yourself and your beliefs.

The only person in the world you can never lie to is yourself. We all have to (metaphorically) look at ourselves in the bathroom mirror every day and ask ourselves if we like what we see. Do we want to see a person who sold out their own beliefs so that others would "like" them..?

And what does that say about the people whose popularity we court...? If those people would only "like" us if we share their views, or agree with their opinions, then is their friendship worth having..?

A number of people won't talk to me on this site because of some of the things I have said about the USA. Well, that's up to them. If they are so shallow that they can't take up the argument and attempt to counter my points, but rather,they throw a hissy fit and reach for the Ignore button, then I will lose no sleep over that.

Check out my siggy (below). The man who made the quote, Giovanni Falcone was a Sicilian judge, who took on the Mafia and was responsible for many very high ranking mafiosi in Italy being imprisoned. It cost him his life. He was blown up by a bomb placed by the Mafia. He lived his life under constant threat, and had to be surrounded by bodyguards 24 / 7, but he didn't quit. He carried on until they eventually killed him.

The Italian people went into mourning. A simple public official, from a poor island became a symbol of truth, integrity and justice because he refused to give in. His name is revered in Italy today and he is an inspiration still, to those who follow in his wake.

He was not a conceited man, not vain nor arrogant, but he spoke his truth and to hell with the consequences. He had true self esteem. This was a man who could look in the bathroom mirror and not feel shame at the reflection which came back at him.

Read my siggy and think about it. You'll get a better idea about where I'm coming from on a number of issues. I will argue my case vigorously and I will defend my position on anything with all my might, but I'll admit when I'm proven wrong and hold my hands up and respect the person who showed me the error of my ways. Those who spit their dummies out and retort "I'm-not-talking-to-you-anymore" deserve nothing but scorn, contempt and slight regard.

I don't suggest for one moment, that I am on a par with Giovanni Falcone, but I do believe that I share the same values, and when you read his words, you may understand why I feel that I too, can look myself in the face and call it self respect and dignity.

But never vanity.


.



Ever heard of the art of precis?


Basically, if you're gonna be conceited - do it big! lol.
On November 16, 2010
lil_bear01

Deleted



In my igloo, Canada
#45New Post! Oct 04, 2010 @ 20:12:21
@sTreetAngeL Said

Well I'm down to earth; yet I fit all your criteria of a snob too it seems.


I think you just need to focus, and perhaps learn? To feel good about yourself, and to let it show. To treat others well, and kind while doing so. And all else should eventually begin to come into focus and make sense to you.

(Sometimes ppl will call others snobs if they feel they themselves can't improve...they get scared seeing someone else changing for the better, and out of that fear, they work to try and hold them back too. Learn to spot this in people. )





Most people that will try or drag your self esteem down are the ones that have REALLY low self esteem so they stomp on yours until your esteem is lower than theirs.

All types of abusers have very low self esteem and eventually all the abused come to have very low self esteem themselves, which isn't very hard to do because throughout our whole lives there are always people trying to do that to each other on a constant basis starting with school.

Building your self esteem may take months to years to never after someone has played with your head and their words of verbal trash take root and start to replace what grass was once there.

That is when we have to work HARD to go through our thought patterns and start rooting out the garden of overloaded crap that others have put in there and keep the positives and uplifting thoughts and kick the crap to the curb forever.

Hard to do with depression as this is the main way of thinking behind depression but it's very doable if you commit to it.
On February 18, 2011
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