Forum Index > News & Politics > Gender Issues
Apr 02, 2008 @ 22:55:38 | #167 | iwannano
Mega Über-Meister 4266 points


47/NA/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Join Date: Mar 2008 | chocolate_new_orleans said:
I think some women just gravitate to the drama that some relationships offer. No one likes to get punched in the face, so why do they return, if not to the first beater, to someone else who beats them. It's because, deep down, they have an attention complex. Now they have something to blame in their life.
That mainly applies to those who go back for more, not one timers who leave
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I have a friend that was an abused child and wife she got help after drinking bleach trying to escape from the abuse, she is 12 years away from the last beating she took , we have talked alot about what she learned from therepy about herself and the reasons she stayed and why she felt drinking bleach was her only way out .
You use the right word but in the wrong context,, 'gravitate' Men and women that either stay in an abusive realationship or keep repeating that kind of realsonships do gravitate towards one another not for the attention or the drama but because boys were taught by watching dad beat and stomp mom and mom staying for what ever reason she had ,,and girls are taught by watching mom get beat and stomped by dad, as children they learn what they belive is 'the reality of life ' and are surprized when they find out not everyone does it, it really is
'a cycle ' kind of deal ,men don't enjoy doing it anymore than their victims enjoy getting it done , whats the cure ? At some point the parents in an abuseive family setting has to either stop doing it (men) or stop letting it be done(women) 'before' the kids learn it as a way of life, if a kid learns that to get up and work hard, pay bills yada yada yada,, then that is that kid will do as an adult, if a kid learns dads hit moms and moms get hit by dads then thats what a kid will do as an adult.
Therepy, jail, prison , abuse shelters, they are all tools to help these parents but always come into play after the mom has been sent to the hospital , theres no way any one can stop it before that happens except the dad and mom them selves.
 van los piojos ausentes del niño pequeño que usted me incomoda | | |
Apr 02, 2008 @ 23:13:25 | #168 | littlebear
Mega Über-Meister 3519 points


48/F/, Canada Join Date: Mar 2008 | I didn't read all the previous posts, but I will add my piece. Women are as guilty of hitting and abusing their partners as men are of hitting and abusing theirs, the only reason we only see the stats on women abuse is because men fear to report it to the police and those that do get laughed at a good percentage of the time with remarks like, Oh you're telling us that that woman whom is smaller than you beat you up? are you a wimp or something, then the men get embarrassed and back down. The men do NOT get taken seriously enough with their complaint, and I know of some men that were abused by their wives and had the bruises to prove it and when the police got there they did see the bruises, but the woman turned around and told the police that he had hit her first and the police actually took him to jail for it. It's a very sexist thing, but it's out there. And for the record if any man is being hit or abused by a woman they are not wimps, they just don't believe in hitting a woman and the woman takes full advantage of it. Abuse is a two way street, actually three way, women, men, children. 

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Apr 03, 2008 @ 12:02:52 | #170 | exodia22
Über-Meister 1576 points


22/M/, Washington Join Date: Mar 2008 | iv been hit to the point where my temper takes control of me, and i no longer am in control, i think that guys just hit girls to show power and or dominance, but i think a guy should express dominance in the complete opposite view, instead of yelling at your wife or hitting her you should ask her if she wants to go for a walk, then sit down and have a "normal" conversation with her, expressing views not in a violent way,
whats bad about my plan, to move away from physical violence
just leads to mental violence ex: wifes blows 100 bucks at a casino, she doesn't make dinner for the husband,,, so ,,,
the husband doesn't give his wife 100 bucks for next week.
i was mentally abused as a child growing up much more than physically, i think that a good relationship with a husband and wife is to argue moderately, very small dose of physical "slaps" guys need to learn to just slap there wife in a kind way instead of picking up the microwave and throwing it at her...
physical violence is hard to judge the identity of it,
heck in my point of view sex and love can be considered
physical violence. | | |
May 18, 2008 @ 23:43:27 | #175 | lilbear
Ogler 22017 points


108/F/, Canada Join Date: Jan 2008 | 
 I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.
Colin Raye
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