Ok so she isnt my mother in law yet, but she will be, unless her antics go even farther
that i cannot handle them. My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. We both live
with his mom. He is 28 and i am 24. This is just temporary of course until we can get on
our feet, however we have both been living here for a year.
At first i thought maybe its because we may have worn out our welcome, but the things
that go on go farther than that. In the beginning, i thought that i was lucky. We got along
great, we went shopping together and it was fun. She was really nice. in the past 4 months
things have just gotten rediculous. She has very few good days, most of them are bad.
When she isnt here i feel happy, but as soon as she comes home, or if she is home and i
walk in the door, its like a fog of ugliness in the house and i cant help feel horrible
whenever i am around her. She says mean things all the time to my boyfriend and i. The
other night she told him that if his father passed away it would be his fault because of his
medical situation (he has had a brain tumor on 2 separate occasions and has to take
medicine for the rest of his life for seizures). And then says his seizures and tiredness
lately is all in his head.
I live in Texas so when hurricane Rita looked like it was going to hit we wer ein a
mandatory evacuation zone. So i packed our stuff up (mine and his) but he wouldnt leave
until he knew they would leave because they live on the water and were saying it wouldnt
be any big deal (it was a big deal). I took here somewhere later on and she told me he
would never leave her (his mom) to be with me because he loves her more than me. That is
an extremely messed up thing to say. It is 2 different kinds of love. Just like if he had a
child that would be a third kind of love. you cant compare and say he loves someone more
than someone else. Its just different. And who said he had to completely forsake his
mother to be with me? i wont make him do that. Its like she sees me as competition (which
i suppose i can understand to some degree) but ive told her i am not taking her son away
from her. Lately now shes talking about his x girlfriends and asking about weird things
and bringing up even weirder stuff.
My boyfriend was taking a shower one day and she stripped down naked and jumped in
with him real quick because she said she couldnt wait (there are 2 showers in the house).
THAT really bothers me....thats just weird.
She says things all the time to cut me and him down to the point where she will make
both of us cry. Ive told her flat out before that i appreciate her letting us stay here until we
can get on our feet, but that her attitude has to stop. and things get better for about 4
days but then it gets worse again. She is 54 years old and throws hissy fits when she
doesnt get her way. She is extremely controlling, opens my boyfriends mail all the time
and things like that. at 28 i think he can open his own mail. she has opened mine too a
few times. She treats my boyfriends brother different. Its as if he can do no wrong. But HIS
wife is treated teh same as me. They live about an hour away and she has been with him
for 10 years and she said she goes through the same things. (We are extremely good
friends).
Its not just one thing...its everything wrapped up together that make me think that his
mother has a problem. At times everything will see fine and she will just go off like a
rocket. As if she has a nice and a mean person inside of her and they fight for who gets
control of the body. I just dont know what else to do. I cant tell her...that would make
things even worse between us if i were to suggest psychiatric medical treatment to her.
If anyone has any ideas or wants to tell me their mother in law horror stories i would
greatly appreciate it. If nothing else...someone else with a crazy mother in law would make
me feel like im not the only person who has to deal with this.
Thanx.

The fact his mother jumped in the shower with him proves she has mental problems. She really does need help. There has to be a way to approach her about that.

I do really sympathise with you, lets say i understand exactly what you are going through!
She knows she has got you both right where she wants you, and you really have got to put your foot down!
I dont think things will get any better, could you not use living there as a advantage to be able to save so you and your husband can get your own place?

how can you approach a person like that? if you suggest something, they will most likely twist it back and you are the loser again. If she doesn't listen, I think that she needs to see a physciatrist. Then if she goes there, she will probably disown you and your boyfriend and then she is back to her controlling ways, back to square one.

I would hate to be in that situation

I thought this was all 'normal' crazy in-law griping until I read the part where mother dearest jumped in the shower with her grown son. I'm sorry but this is just a wee bit disturbing to me

Well here are my two cents...

Its got to be stressing her out to have her husband/the father of her kids in such medical distress. She does have you trapped and knows you cant leave no matter how nasty or WEIRD she gets. And its her place so she can act however she wants, you are the guest. As far as her son, I would lay down the law but there is only so much you can do in someone elses place.

Hang in there...it wont change when you move out, it will just be less frequent. Maybe she does have something wrong with her. Let her kids go to her about it. Dont do it yourself cause you are an outsider and Im sure she probably doesnt care what you think (from the way she treats you)

An outsider is exactly what i feel like. And its true...since i am not in her little family circle, i
will never be anything other than an outsider. Im nervous about what going to happen when
we have kids. She took her granddaughter with no carseat once because she took her truck
and was too lazy to get the carseat out of the van. True the granddaughter was 3 ( i think it
is 4 years old or 40 pounds, both which she was under), but its the whole principle of the
matter. Takes the kid places when my brother and sister in law come by without asking. She
is a masseuse and once she massaged the granddaughters bottom. Her mother was outraged
(i would be too...thats weird). She'll take the kid downstairs (near the water) and not really
watch her. We have gone down several times and caught her doing something and not
watching while the granddaughter plays near the water. Im sorry but im very protective of
my dog, and when it comes to my future kids...i forsee myself being even more
protective...she wont take them anywhere or watch them til she can prove she is competent.

I understand your situation but you have to think of another possibility for here behaavior. I worked in the mental health field for 35 yrs. Your father-in-law to be has a brain tumor. His prognosis is most likely nil. It appears that your mother to be is terrified of being alone. she knows when her husband dies there is probably nothing she will look forward to. But that is just her state of mind. so unconcuiosly she has put her son as the head of the house and all she sees is that you are taking him from her. All is being taken from her. she most likely perceives that when you get married, she will have no place in anyones life and now you are the HOme wrecker so to speak. all you see is her "fear" talking. Most likelly it isnt her real side. I feel sorry for you, her, her son, and her shusband. She needs Hospice counsleing which is free all over. When you have a very ill person you can get this very available help but you must ask for it. At one time I also was a Hospice worker. If you believe in God, ask him to help you on a daily basis to see her differently. I pray for you.

menopauzzzzzzzzzz... ...not to make fun of ur situation....but showering with my mum at 28...is not only disgustion...its wrong....

no no no...the father in law doesnt have a brain tumor. My boyfriend has a brain tumor twice.
The last tumor was 7 years ago and hes fine but he just has to take medicine. They seizures
he has arent like grand mal seizures or anything like that, they just make him shake a little
and leave him feeling tired. Im sure she worries about her son like any mother would, but
there is no excuse for her actions and words.

novel...you said it!!!! wrong, weird, f'ed up, crazy, demented, dumb, just alot ....but im curious..everyone is saying the mother is wacko...(she is) but why ,pray tell does your soon to be hubby not put his foot down, stand up for you and tell his mommie dearest to back the f up off of you????if the behaviors of the mom are that disturbing( and they are) then the son should be doing or saying something to her..and the woman that worked in the psychiatric field for 35 years, i did also and that is no behavior i ever saw of someone that didnt deserve to be locked up. she is wronfg flat out...and if i didnt say it what did the son do when mommy jumped in the shower with him??? that im sure is on evryones mind...but they were to ????? to ask..im not what did he do??? if he stayed in the shower with her.....run run fast and far and save yourself....brian

I have similar problems but with my Grandmother in Law not his mom, minus the medical conditions and minus the whole shower thing, that's just creepy....tho she did like to use the restroom with the door open for all to see....

She hates me...

You and your boyfriend should just move out. I can't imagine how you couldn't afford a small apartment between the both of you. If this keeps up, it could drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend.

When His mother jumped in the shower with him, he jumped out immediately. That whole
situation was disturbing to me if he hadnt jumped out and just stayed in there with her, that
would have opened up a whole new can of worms i wouldnt want to deal with.
As for my boyfriend backing me up, he does. She is just always like this. The past 2 days
everything has been good (although that could be cuz she hasnt been home???) but
sometimes i tell him not to do anything. Then i go talk to her myself. When i do its like a 4
year old. She turns on the tears and i used to be the one who apologized but im better at that
and better at standing up for myself. After ive talked to her things are better for a few days
(or sometimes just a day) and then its all back to the way its always been. I just take it with a
grain of salt and deal with it and hopefully my boyfriend and i can move out soon.