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Ko On January 25, 2011
\\m/(>.<)\\m/





949 Orange County, California
#406New Post! Dec 10, 2010 @ 23:47:21
I miss oldways.
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


Deleted



In your Mind, Cape Verde
#407New Post! Dec 11, 2010 @ 00:14:29
What's red and sits in a tree?

A Sanitary Owl
jimmyA On February 02, 2011




Derby, United Kingdom
#408New Post! Feb 02, 2011 @ 16:36:22
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, \&quot;If I\'m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.\&quot;
She removes all her clothing and asks, \&quot;Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?\&quot;
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, \&quot;Here, ir...on this!\&quot;.

gt tht from this free text service i use its quality n free text joke to 87474 u get a new one every day i love it
Liamkoopa On February 10, 2011




Okinawa, Malawi
#409New Post! Feb 10, 2011 @ 11:57:36
Hey i got a joke! F-U-C-K Y-O-U!
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


Deleted



In your Mind, Cape Verde
#410New Post! Feb 16, 2011 @ 14:44:24
It has just been reported that the head gardener at The White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to many US Presidents.

When interviewed, the gardener protested his innocence and said

"All I know is I was walking past the Oval Office and I asked, "Has anyone seen the spade or the hoe."

The next thing I knew I was fired.
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


Deleted



In your Mind, Cape Verde
#411New Post! Feb 16, 2011 @ 14:45:21
What's an Australian kiss?

The same thing as a French kiss, only down under
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


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In your Mind, Cape Verde
#412New Post! Feb 19, 2011 @ 18:47:46
I approached a random ginger bloke recently and asked him...

"If you had 7 girls phone numbers in one pocket and 8 girls phone numbers in the other pocket what would you have?"

He thought for a second then his face lit up and he replied, "Why I'd have 15 girls numbers!"

"Wrong!!!" I replied, "You'd have someone elses trousers on you ginger c***!!"
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


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In your Mind, Cape Verde
#413New Post! Feb 19, 2011 @ 18:48:19
I'm in trouble with the wife as per usual......

We were in bed naked and she asked me what I would like to do most with her body...

Apparently "identify it" wasn't the right answer
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


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In your Mind, Cape Verde
#414New Post! Feb 20, 2011 @ 17:58:58
My wife asked me to go to the shops to buy something that would make her look sexy.

You should've seen the look on her face when I came home with 12 cans of lager.
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


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In your Mind, Cape Verde
#415New Post! Feb 24, 2011 @ 14:04:18
A minister, a rabbi & a priest are travelling on a cruise ship when it hits an iceberg and rapidly begins to sink.Panic ensues and everyone runs for the lifeboats.

The Minister yells "WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!"
The Rabbi yells "f*** THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!"
The Priest yells "ARE YE MAD? THE SHIPS SINKING! THERE'S NO TIME FOR FUN!"
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


Deleted



In your Mind, Cape Verde
#416New Post! Feb 24, 2011 @ 14:06:29
My Nan has found a lump in each of her breasts.




Turns out it was just her knees.
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


Deleted



In your Mind, Cape Verde
#417New Post! Mar 01, 2011 @ 18:39:12
George Dubya Quotes

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that
one word is 'to be prepared'."
...Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
...Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
...Governor George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
...Governor George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
...Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."
...Governor George W. Bush to reporters

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
...Governor George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
...Governor George W. Bush

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
...George W. Bush

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
...Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
...Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
...Governor George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
...Governor George W. Bush

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
...Governor George W. Bush
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


Deleted



In your Mind, Cape Verde
#418New Post! Mar 02, 2011 @ 18:28:30
I got stopped on the street this morning by a woman with a clipboard asking me what grooming products I used...

You should of seen the look on her face when I replied, "Facebook, Haribo and puppies!"
Wellard On April 29, 2012
ect.. .


Deleted



In your Mind, Cape Verde
#419New Post! Mar 12, 2011 @ 22:24:48
Iokua On March 31, 2011




Corning, Arkansas
#420New Post! Mar 31, 2011 @ 15:58:15
here is an old one that Ive always liked.

A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the man behind the counter if he had any Grapes, the man replied no we don't sell grapes this is a hardware store. The Duck continues this all day, finally the man shouts NO WE DON'T SELL GRAPES if you ask me again i will staple your feet to the floor.

the Next day the Duck returns to the hardware store and asks Got any Staples, the man behind the counter replies sorry fresh out. the Duck replies Got any Grapes?
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