Why have I never read Anne Frank the Sequel?

A woman is pregnat with triplets and she is walking down an alley in Manchester when a guy runs from a corner and shoots her 3 times. Amzingly she and all babies are OK. 8 years later one of the girls runs into the kichen screaming; "Mum,Mum I was peeing when this bullet fell out!"
The mum explains what happened 8 years ago and the girl toddles off. Then again her second daughter kid runs in screaming; " Mum I was peeing when this bullet fell out."
The mum quickly explains what happened 8 years ago and once again the kid toddles off.Suddenly her son bursts through the door screaming for his mum. " let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet fell out?" says the mum calmly. "no, i was having a wank and i shot the dog!"

Two Nuns walking down the street, a flasher runs in front of them and drops his pants. What happended?

One nun had a stroke, the other couldn't reach!!

All the good people get murdered

John Lennon Murdered

JF Kennedy Murdered

Ghandi Murdered

Martin Luther King Murdered

Ronald Regan I rest my case.

I just posted on a thread about testimonials thinking it was a thread about testicles and getting them checked.

I know,I saw that....to make matters worse it was for TFS itself or himself or herself!!

God I'm snottered.

How much of that case of beer your son got have you had?

Did you save any for Molly?

Did you hear about the two nuns that go to the zoo and one of them gets raped by the gorilla who escaped. The nun that was raped gets the other nun to swear never to tell anyine about the attack.

Many years pa** and the two nuns meet up again.
One nun askes the other did she ever tell a living sole about the incidednt in the zoo.
Of course I never told anyone but I want to ask you a question. Did he hurt you?



Did he hurt me? Did he hurt me? Not a phonecall. Not a letter.

A lady is taking a shower and her little boy comes into the bathroom, points at her private parts and enquires, mummy, whats that??

A little embarrassed, the lady announces, "oh, err, that is were your dad accidentally hit me with the axe when he was chopping the tree down in the front garden love"

"Oh?" replied the boy "It must have hurt mum, he got you right in the fanny!"

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big
bad wolf crouched down behind a log.

"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."

The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and
this time he is crouched behind a bush.

"My what big ears you have, Mr.Wolf."

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About two miles down the road
Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down
behind a rock.

"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."

With that the wolf jumps up and screams,

"Will you f**k it off, I'm trying to have a sh*t!"

Oh Molly is as pissed as I am. She's got a cold and I've been making her hot whiskeys. She's having a drunken chat to our son about accents. Crazy.

Two nuns in a bath.

Where's the soap?

Yes doesn't it.Wank wank

I always love to here my dad talk when he comes over for a visit from Ireland his accent is so much stronger.Hope Molly feels better soon