The last post looks quite knowledgable for a 19 yo *suspect* lol.

There's a lot in it though. I've fought the big D for probably 20 years. I live quite normally, because I have worked on, and written ways to fight it, without the need for taking drugs. I never will take them. I might as well admit defeat if I take them (I'm obviously aware though, that people do like, and do well, with this form of treatment).

Not quite sure why I'm posting in this. I think I just need to write something 'out loud'!! Perhaps partly because the last post reminded me of my smoking habit. I'd smoked [heavily] for 21 years, then last week, my lass said 'don't smoke anymore please'.. and far from being under the thumb, I just said 'ok yeah', and haven't smoked since. The whole thing was in my head. Of course nicotine addiction isn't the same as depression, but my theory that [most] things are partly complications in our heads, comes quite close to nicotine addiction.

To a certain extent I control my 'D' using a theory I wrote about separating the different dimensions in our heads. Let's face it, the real you, or me, doesn't want this!!, so somewhere in our full consciousness or sub conscious, something is attacking our true self. Fighting back works. It has for me. However.. the reason I'm rambling on now is because this theory works only to a certain extent [for me]. Right now, and for the last 2 days, I've been a complete mess. I can't sleep, I can't read, write, watch tv, do bloody anything, my head is pounding with pain [mental and physical]. I've read my journals and diaries to look for answers, and it says the same.. after a good night out, or series of good nights out or enjoyable activities, this mammoth downer clouds over me. My god, thank goodness my gf isnt with me now, or ever seen me like this. I can't even believe I'm writing all this. I'll forget this feeling soon, again. I won't remember the way I feel now. I never do, or so it seems from what I've written in the past.

Thank feck I forget this. I just hope it passes soon. I've tried everything. And as per what I've read, only time will make it pass.

Just to add.. as my last post was a selfish ramble.

I wish everyone luck in their fight. Only someone who has been in this pit, whether temporarily or permanently can truly understand it.

I'm always here if anyone wants to PM me. Depression is a terrible illness. We need support.

Just don't be sad. Try to go out and meet new and exciting people. And then do new and exciting things with them. Try it, it just might bring you to a different state.

When depressed I:

Put on my favourite music, New Order, The Fall.

Talk to people i respect and love.

Give my kid a big old hug.

Think of people less fortunate than me.

Watch something funny on TV

Laugh out loud at the absurdity of life and human existence!!

Ellison

I smoke alot of weed when i'm really down makes me forget about all the meaningless s*** in life and all the c***s out there put on some music and relax i know it sounds like a bad thing to do but f*** it whatever helps right.

Lots of sex is good for fighting depression.

For years i dealt with different aspects of depression until a meeting with a Doctor in China made me rethink my approach. Ultimately it is a state of mind, like any other state of mind that can be changed. For some it is easier than others but it can be done if you persist.

Interesting thoughts, I actually used hypnotherapy and meditation to try and work on my depression and then actually started practicing variations of NLP using some different confidence tricks.

After a year i was able to control my depression and actually 'switch' it off when i wanted to.

Hi there,

I would look for a really good therapist. Check out your local directory and go for the best you can afford. I would also ask what qualifications they have and you don't necessarily have to go with the first you see.

Hope this helps

Wiggy