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How can husband and wife / partners reach the age when children can't be had without ever having them

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DiscordTiger On December 04, 2021
The Queen of Random

Administrator




Emerald City, United States (g
#16New Post! Jul 14, 2017 @ 18:24:19
@Jennifer1984 Said

Yes, I can see how that would be a toxic situation. But do you not think that this might be a symptom of a deeper malaise in the relationship..? A significant problem is already there, but is kept beneath the surface until an issue such as starting a family is the catalyst that brings it to the fore..?

For sure, this is a very difficult area and there isn't a "one size fits all" answer.


Of course it's a bigger problem. Children or the lack of them is just the thread topic. Any other aspect of a relationship can cause similar conflicts to come to light. Sex, money, health, in laws, location, politics. If a couple can find middle ground and they are committed to trying, they can make it work. If not, eventually, the issues just become too much to overcome. Once that happens, resentment sets in and people may start hurting or lying to each other and that's toxic.

Most people work it out. I just understood the op was talking more about relationships that failed. It's absolutely the bigger problem not the kids.

There is no easy fix to a relationship. Nor is it complete to say not having kids broke up a relationship: As in Savage and Miss Elizabeth.
Jennifer1984 On July 20, 2022
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#17New Post! Jul 15, 2017 @ 14:14:24
Savage and Miss Elizabeth..? Not familiar with that one.

However, I think Conflict WAS asking a SPECIFIC question mostly because he was quite clear about the age aspect which isn't necessarily true of things like in-laws, politics or location (unless you're thinking of buying a retirement property, I guess).

A broad brush answer can be relevant, 'tis true but I'd prefer to stick to the actual question itself so please don't feel any need to put me right on the Savage/Elizabeth thingy. It'd only lead to further thread drift.
mrmhead On March 27, 2024




NE, Ohio
#18New Post! Jul 15, 2017 @ 15:28:29
As a gross generalization without getting specific (or redundant and repetitious)

There are times I've gotten fed up with my wife, but realize that to leave would be bad for the child.


There's an old joke about a couple in their 100's, after 80+ years of marriage go to a lawyer to get a divorce. The lawyer asks them Why after so many years together? They answered "We were waiting for the children to die off"
Conflict On about 3 hours ago




Alcalá de Henares, Spain
#19New Post! Aug 06, 2017 @ 20:45:20
@mrmhead Said

As a gross generalization without getting specific (or redundant and repetitious)

There are times I've gotten fed up with my wife, but realize that to leave would be bad for the child.


There's an old joke about a couple in their 100's, after 80+ years of marriage go to a lawyer to get a divorce. The lawyer asks them Why after so many years together? They answered "We were waiting for the children to die off"


This reminds my of Leonard Nimoy. He cited a similar reason for ending his marriage.
Komentenmelodie On May 25, 2018




,
#20New Post! Feb 03, 2018 @ 04:28:15
kids can make or break a relationship, it depends on the wishes of the couple. Personally I do not want any nor did I ever, I know myself pretty well & they would not be right for me, however whats right for me is not the same for everyone!
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