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Need Hair Care Advice!!!(Long post, sorry)

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EmilyPearl9802 On January 17, 2017




Indy, Indiana
#1New Post! Dec 05, 2016 @ 20:16:20
Hopefully this is an acceptable section to post this...couldn't find anything dedicated to beauty/skin/hair/stuff like that.
Anyway, to those of you with long, luxurious, flawless hair, I have some questions.
First of all, I've been OBSESSED with growing my hair long for....probably two years now. Ok, I've wanted it long for 3-4 years, but I abused it roughly 2 years ago. I used to dye it firetruck red with Splat hair dye. This means I would have to bleach it, then dye it. At least one time that I remember, I had missed a couple spots, so I actually bleached it again and dyed it again. Needless to say, by this time, my hair was fried! I mean, my hair didn't fall out in clumps or anything like that, but it was extremely dry and brittle. I could've been compared to a poorly-groomed sheepdog or a bale of hay. After that, I would occasionally dye it black with Garnier hair dye. No bleach, of course, but still. I haven't done THAT in probably 6-7 months.
Ever since the last time I dyed it, I've tried my best to take immaculate care of my hair. I condition every time I wash. I tend to switch shampoos and conditioners a lot. Lately I've been switching between Renpure Argan oil shampoo and condition, sometimes I use Pantene anti-breakage shampoo and 3 minute miracle conditioner(same brand). I NEVER use heat products(blow dryer, straightener, curler...), I sleep with a sleep cap on. I prefer to wear it down, but have to wear it up for work(not as a rule, but I hang tags at a grocery store, so it's to keep it out of my way), but it's a low, not-too-tight ponytail. I do coconut oil treatments, I put argan oil on the ends, and I only trim it when necessary. I eat a LOT of protein. I've tried taking biotin and iron pills. I don't brush it, and I only comb it before washing it, or when I put it in a ponytail. I try to only wash it 1-2 times a week(usually 2, though). But....it just doesn't seem like it's growing!
My boyfriend's sister's hair is like, at least a foot longer than mine, and she's a brunette who dyes her hair blonde! When we talked about it, she was like, "I don't know. I just didn't cut it for 2 years and it just...grew" LOL.
Now, I've heard about that whole phase thing everyone's hair has. Apparently some people's hair grows really fast, with a 6 year phase, so they have super long hair. Some people's hair grows really slowly, for only 2-3 years, so they generally have short hair. I've looked everywhere at different sources, hoping this is a myth!! Lol.
Could it be that my hair is still healing from the abuse? Oh, I forgot to mention about the time I not only dyed my hair red, but black as well, so it was mainly red with like, black bangs. The way it looked best was to straighten it! So at that time, it was fried from bleach, dye, and straightening. That was about 3 years ago. Surely 3 years is long enough for hair to heal??
I hacked about 3 inches off of it a little over a year ago, too, just to remove the dead ends and start over from there.
A few people have called my hair long. The most recent was a co-worker who said, "Your hair is so long and pretty!" I really appreciated that, but like, it's just a little over halfway down my back if you pull on it slightly(I have wavy hair, so...of course the curlier it is, the shorter it looks lol)
I'm roughly 5 inches away from my goal length.
But it still seems damaged!! Like, no matter what I do, my ends end up pretty dry and sound like dry grass when you rub it in between your fingers.
I've looked up so many freaking hair care videos on youtube, it's insane.
So, any advice? What do you do to keep your hair healthy and long?
Evie On August 09, 2018




Dirk Diggler's Budgie Smuggler
#2New Post! Dec 06, 2016 @ 08:53:03
I’ve always had long hair and usually keep the length below my waist. I’ve dyed it a few times and had it permed once when I was a teenager which was a disaster as it made my hair dry and brittle. The only cure for it was to keep trimming until the damaged hair eventually got cut out.

My regime includes peppermint shampoo, peppermint conditioner, apple cider vinegar and a detangler.

I do an apple cider vinegar rinse once a month. Wash it twice a week during the colder months and 3 times a week during the warmer months. In between washes I use a detangler on the ends and wear it up.

If you've got a hairdresser you regularly use, perhaps you could ask them for advice specific to your needs.
EmilyPearl9802 On January 17, 2017




Indy, Indiana
#3New Post! Dec 06, 2016 @ 20:40:11
That actually helped a lot, thank you!
For the peppermint shampoo and conditioner, what brand do you use? I've done the apple cider vinegar rinse, but probably do it way too much when I do it. I've used it probably 2-3 times a week before.
And yeah, I guess it is possible the damage hasn't been cut out yet. I really, REALLY don't wanna hack my hair off, since it took this long to get the length it is! But, of course it's better to have healthy, shorter hair than long, damaged hair lol.
Thanks again!
Evie On August 09, 2018




Dirk Diggler's Budgie Smuggler
#4New Post! Dec 07, 2016 @ 08:43:10
Considering your description of everything you’ve had done, it would probably be difficult to salvage and repair the damage. Staggered trims would effectively resolve the problem if you’re willing to go shorter. I don’t have a problem with hair growth so it’s easy for me to say. I had about 30cms cut off at the beginning of the year and it’s almost back to the same length it was before the cut. If you can’t deal with losing it in one go, trimming every 6-8 weeks might help.

I still think your best bet would be to have a hairdresser assess it and make some recommendations. I don’t know that what works for me will work for you due to our different hair types. Yours is curly and mine is straight with moderate thickness so it’s easier to manage.

I use the Biolage Matrix range: Cooling mint shampoo and Scalpsync mint conditioner which sells for approx. 25 AUD per bottle. L’Occitane Aromacologie also worked well with my hair but was double the price so I switched to Biolage. As I write this I realise what a luxury it is to spend that much money on hair products. Prior to settling in Australia, on the rare occasions when food wasn’t scarce my mother would shave the flesh off a coconut, mix the shavings with warm water and squeeze it to make milk to wash our hair.
Jennifer1984 On July 20, 2022
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Dec 07, 2016 @ 17:02:46
Firstly: Never apologise for making a long post. This is a discussion forum, not Twitter. You write as much as you need to in order to get your message across, hunny.


On topic now.

Wow.... you really did treat your hair bad. But all is not lost. Repairing damaged hair is a frequent topic in the LGBT community and although I've always looked after my hair and never maltreated it, I know a lot of girls who have and we've been down this route... er... more than once. lol

You'll need to do it in stages, not necessarily in sequence, but try to keep this check off list in mind as you go:

Firstly, Evie is quite right about staggered trims. Cut out just the first couple of centimetres and if there are straggly bits, even it out so you restore some sort of uniformity.

Hair is made of protein and chemical damage degrades those proteins that make up the outer cuticle layer. Keratin cells (protein) make up a scaley outer layer for the inner cortex. Bleach lifts and separates the 'scales' and exposes the cortex. In my opinion, Redken shampoos are very good for restoring Keratin to your hair, which can help the outer layer, patch up the cortex and smooth out the outer surface layer of scales.

Your hair has probably become very dry. Good hair contains a mixture of moisture and protein. Look out for anything that contains Argan Oil. Intense hydrating and restorative hair masks are very good for this. See your hairdresser for advice on which will be best for you.

Omega 3 oil is very good for helping to restore damaged hair. Increasing the amount of fish in your diet, that is high in Omega 3.

Don't over wash your hair while you're restoring it. All you'll do is dry it out even more. Let the oils build. Once or twice a week is good. If you can't abide going more than a couple of days without washing, make sure you use PLENTY of conditioner when you wash and leave it to dry naturally. No dryer. Definitely no tongs or straighteners. It's probably best to put your straighteners in a sealed box and give the key to somebody you trust for a long time anyway. Give your hair plenty of time to recover.


I have to admit, I've never had to undergo the above steps myself because I've never bleached or dyed, myself. But my wife used to dye and the steps outlined above helped her to get her natural, lustrous shine back.

Good luck.
EmilyPearl9802 On January 17, 2017




Indy, Indiana
#6New Post! Dec 11, 2016 @ 21:00:10
@Evie Said

Considering your description of everything you’ve had done, it would probably be difficult to salvage and repair the damage. Staggered trims would effectively resolve the problem if you’re willing to go shorter. I don’t have a problem with hair growth so it’s easy for me to say. I had about 30cms cut off at the beginning of the year and it’s almost back to the same length it was before the cut. If you can’t deal with losing it in one go, trimming every 6-8 weeks might help.

I still think your best bet would be to have a hairdresser assess it and make some recommendations. I don’t know that what works for me will work for you due to our different hair types. Yours is curly and mine is straight with moderate thickness so it’s easier to manage.

I use the Biolage Matrix range: Cooling mint shampoo and Scalpsync mint conditioner which sells for approx. 25 AUD per bottle. L’Occitane Aromacologie also worked well with my hair but was double the price so I switched to Biolage. As I write this I realise what a luxury it is to spend that much money on hair products. Prior to settling in Australia, on the rare occasions when food wasn’t scarce my mother would shave the flesh off a coconut, mix the shavings with warm water and squeeze it to make milk to wash our hair.


Wow! I'm so jealous! lol. And yeah, that is expensive, but you generally get what you pay for, so it's worth looking in to! Also, that's interesting about the coconut. So when the coconut oil craze came out, you weren't too surprised, right? lol.
Ugh, you both are probably right, but I'm soooo hesitant about cutting my hair!! Like, last night, I did the coconut oil treatment, and had planned on trimming it after washing and drying it. Well, it's been dry for a while now, and I'm just like, ehhhh, a trim can wait....lol.
EmilyPearl9802 On January 17, 2017




Indy, Indiana
#7New Post! Dec 11, 2016 @ 21:05:26
@Jennifer1984 Said

Firstly: Never apologise for making a long post. This is a discussion forum, not Twitter. You write as much as you need to in order to get your message across, hunny.


On topic now.

Wow.... you really did treat your hair bad. But all is not lost. Repairing damaged hair is a frequent topic in the LGBT community and although I've always looked after my hair and never maltreated it, I know a lot of girls who have and we've been down this route... er... more than once. lol

You'll need to do it in stages, not necessarily in sequence, but try to keep this check off list in mind as you go:

Firstly, Evie is quite right about staggered trims. Cut out just the first couple of centimetres and if there are straggly bits, even it out so you restore some sort of uniformity.

Hair is made of protein and chemical damage degrades those proteins that make up the outer cuticle layer. Keratin cells (protein) make up a scaley outer layer for the inner cortex. Bleach lifts and separates the 'scales' and exposes the cortex. In my opinion, Redken shampoos are very good for restoring Keratin to your hair, which can help the outer layer, patch up the cortex and smooth out the outer surface layer of scales.

Your hair has probably become very dry. Good hair contains a mixture of moisture and protein. Look out for anything that contains Argan Oil. Intense hydrating and restorative hair masks are very good for this. See your hairdresser for advice on which will be best for you.

Omega 3 oil is very good for helping to restore damaged hair. Increasing the amount of fish in your diet, that is high in Omega 3.

Don't over wash your hair while you're restoring it. All you'll do is dry it out even more. Let the oils build. Once or twice a week is good. If you can't abide going more than a couple of days without washing, make sure you use PLENTY of conditioner when you wash and leave it to dry naturally. No dryer. Definitely no tongs or straighteners. It's probably best to put your straighteners in a sealed box and give the key to somebody you trust for a long time anyway. Give your hair plenty of time to recover.


I have to admit, I've never had to undergo the above steps myself because I've never bleached or dyed, myself. But my wife used to dye and the steps outlined above helped her to get her natural, lustrous shine back.

Good luck.



Thank you! You're right, it's pretty dry. Well, the ends are. Literally no matter what I do, the ends end up dry and brittle and hay-like! The rest of it looks and feels decent, though....just those last 2-3 inches don't...
I generally eat a lot of eggs and tuna. Probably wouldn't hurt to increase that, though.
Thanks again! It's very reassuring to hear that hope is not lost! lol. I had very short hair(ear-lobe length) until about...6 years ago, then I abused it, then became obsessed with getting it long and healthy. I guess all I can do is try and give it time, right?
puzZles On November 13, 2020




Inside my mind's mind, United
#8New Post! Dec 12, 2016 @ 03:01:42
@EmilyPearl9802 Said

Thank you! You're right, it's pretty dry. Well, the ends are. Literally no matter what I do, the ends end up dry and brittle and hay-like! The rest of it looks and feels decent, though....just those last 2-3 inches don't...
I generally eat a lot of eggs and tuna. Probably wouldn't hurt to increase that, though.
Thanks again! It's very reassuring to hear that hope is not lost! lol. I had very short hair(ear-lobe length) until about...6 years ago, then I abused it, then became obsessed with getting it long and healthy. I guess all I can do is try and give it time, right?



3 Inches is nothing. Go ahead and hack it off in one shot. The length your hair is now, it will barely be noticeable, other than to look better, fuller, more even. And of course it will feel and Be so much healthier. (also, it will grow much faster too once the deadness is gone)
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