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Drunk on a bus

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rondetto On March 26, 2024




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Oct 18, 2016 @ 11:52:14
A drunken man stumbles out of a bar and, gets on the bus late one night, he staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Oh bugger, I'm on the wrong bus!"
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! Oct 18, 2016 @ 12:24:02
@rondetto Said

A drunken man stumbles out of a bar and, gets on the bus late one night, he staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Oh bugger, I'm on the wrong bus!"



DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#3New Post! Oct 19, 2016 @ 01:06:31
Here's a joke my granddaughter just made up:

What did the cow say to the pig?

"Moink!"
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#4New Post! Oct 19, 2016 @ 01:33:27
**The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and suddenly turned into a pillar of salt. At that time ---
lil Johnny contributed: "My mother looked back once while she was driving, and 'she' turned into a telephone pole!"
******

**The lil boy was visiting his gramma and it was bedtime.
His momma called and said: "Don't forget to include Gramma in your prayers tonight. Pray that God should bless her and let her live
to be very, very old."
The lil boy responded: "Ohhh, she's old enough! I'd rather pray that
God would make her young!"
*****

**A young woman named Murphy was teaching a Sunday School class all about the 23rd Psalm. As the little voices chorused out -she seemed somewhere to detect a 'false' note.
--She listened to the children, one by one, until at last she came across the one lil boy who was concluding the psalm with these words:
Surely good MISS Murphy shall follow me all the days of my life!"
*****

**A young lil Miss called Kallie went to her pastor and confessed that she feared she had incurred the sin of vanity.
Pastor: "What makes you think that?"
Kallie responded: "Because every morning when I look into the mirror I think how beautiful I am!"
Pastor: "Never fear, my girl. That isn't a sin, it's only a mistake!"
????whaaaat????
*****

**A very foul-mouthed man met the local pastor on the street one day and said: "Now, where in the 'hell' have I seen you?"
The pastor replied: "From where 'in hell' you came from, Sir!!"
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#5New Post! Oct 19, 2016 @ 03:48:53
**Joe: What's so unusual about your girlfriend?
Moe: She chews on her nails!
Joe: Lots of girls chew on their nails.
Moe: Toenails?

**A school boy took home a library book whose cover read
"How to Hug -- only to discover later that it was Volume VII
of an encyclopedia!!

**When were automobiles first mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Elijah went up on high.

**What simple affliction brought about the death of Samson?
A: Fallen arches!

**Who was the most successful physician in the Bible?
A: Job; he had the most patience (patients).

**Who was the straight man in the Bible?
A: Joseph. Pharaoh made a ruler out of him!

**What animal took the most baggage on the Ark?
A: The elephant. He took his trunk, while the fox and
the rooster only took a brush and comb!

**What man in the Bible had no parents?
A: Joshua, the son of Nun!

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