@white_swan53 Said 
Dear Dog and Cat,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch
positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in
the slightest.)
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very
sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couchto
ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can
actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep
perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent
possible. (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having
tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but
sarcasm.)
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for
years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or
cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple
change for you.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front
door.....
Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or
daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech
challenged.
Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money
all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke,
don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
you can sell the results.
As I read, and post from my bed, my cat is snuggled between my knees. She would be on my laptop keyboard if I would let her. My bed has no less than 6 pillows on it yet she wants to be on the one I'm sleeping on when the lights go out, and usually a** first...
To answer the 'sleeping' question... I generally fall asleep on my left side, facing the window, because come early a.m. the light causes me to flip to my right side to stay asleep. Most nights I fall asleep quickly and sleep through the night. But sometimes I will fall asleep quickly, then wake for some unknown reason and not be able to fall back to sleep. It's as if my 1/2 hour to hour rest was a power nap. It's irritating.
Aug 28, 2016 @ 04:36:03
I remember you back when I joined, along with intox, stumblin, twiztd and the others. That seems so long ago now. 
