My daughter wants to be a boy

Deleted
Banned

, Falkland Islands (Islas Malv

Jul 03, 2010 @ 21:11:59

Just let it play out and see, basically. Transgender feelings are a matter of degree - some will suppress them or decide they dont need that anymore. Some wont. It could be anywhere on the scale. Ive gotta say MOST girls (from my experience) dont behave like that, frankly, but nothing says its gonna be permanent.

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hazuki0chan

Zombie Slayer

San Francisco, California

#17

Jul 03, 2010 @ 21:19:33

I don't think that is something to worry about. Not all girls are the same, you know. I never liked dolls, dresses, glittery pink shoes, and tiaras, but I never wanted to be a boy. There is such a thing as a tomboy at birth. Well, that's what I call it anyway. I am one myself.

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LaBellaQuincey

Deleted

, Indiana

#18

Jul 03, 2010 @ 21:28:34

I think you should just let her do what makes her happy. I mean, she could turn out to be transgender, but she could also just grow out of it. I was very close with my cousin growing up because we were the same age. She acted like a boy until we were 12 or 13. She played lots of sports, wore boy clothes, cut her hair like a boy, and all of that. The all of a sudden we hit puberty and she did a 180. She's 21 now and just like any other girl.

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Grasshopper

Just me.

Fort Collins, Colorado

#19

Jul 04, 2010 @ 00:08:34

Typical tomboy it sounds like.

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GSnap

Over the Rainbow,

#20

Jul 04, 2010 @ 00:41:08

@slzein Said

My daughter is now 5 years old but ever since she was 3 she has never wanted to put on a dress all she will wear is pants and shirts. She always said she wanted to be like her dad. Now however she even made her dad cut her hair short and will only wear clothes from the boys section. She also has a fascination with private parts of her dad and other boys. However her dad hides and runs all the time when she walks into the room making a big deal of it. So that could be the reason she is so interested. I am not allowed to tie her up and it is getting quite long now. I have been buying her shorts, pants, shirt etc but by doing this am i making it worse for her? Should i ignore it and hope it goes away? or just force her into dresses? She will play with dolls but is always the "dad" in her role playing games. Do i have a serious problem with her?
Thanks for your help

I wouldn't worry about it. She is only five. Lots of little girls love their dad and want to please them and be like them. I was a real tomboy when i was under 10. I wanted to go fishing with dad, play baseball, go hunting with him. BUt that all wore off when I became a teen. Hitting 12 and 13 years old did it for me and I started to notice boys. LOL Then i shed my tom boy ways for good and was a real girly girl. Although I never got so girly girlish that I lost my edge. LOL I hated dresses as a kid, love them now.

AND so what if she NEVER outgrows it. What can you do, or what WOULD you do if you thought she would stay that way? Try to give her therapy to get out of it? IF this is who she is, I hope you love her and respect her just the same. If she never does outgrow this it doesn't mean something is "wrong" with her, its just who she is.

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Edited: July 04, 2010 @ 00:41

chisa96

Supreme Goddess

Out in Nature, Wisconsin

#21

Jul 04, 2010 @ 01:14:52

Why are people jumping to transgender on this? From what little information we have been given it sounds like she's just a tomboy and a daddy's girl. Lots of girls are tomboys, and daddy's girls. What's the big deal?

Let her be. Let her enjoy herself. She sounds fine.

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Edited: July 04, 2010 @ 01:16

GSnap

Over the Rainbow,

#22

Jul 04, 2010 @ 01:34:47

@chisa96 Said

Why are people jumping to transgender on this? From what little information we have been given it sounds like she's just a tomboy and a daddy's girl. Lots of girls are tomboys, and daddy's girls. What's the big deal?

Let her be. Let her enjoy herself. She sounds fine.

I think maybe two people tops mentioned transgender. [smile]https://i.tfster.com/tfs/images/smilies/confused3.gif"> And of those two, they were just tossing it out there as a possibility not as a sure thing. Most here said tomboy or daddy's girl. Just sayin.

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Edited: July 04, 2010 @ 01:35

vekta

,

#23

Jul 04, 2010 @ 01:45:48

To a certain degree this is normal. Your daughter may be displaying an Oedipus Complex. In this case since it is your daughter, an Electra Complex.

Initially this starts out as an attraction to the mother but shifts to the father later on.

It changes to an attraction to her father and rivalry with her mother. Basically this is a step in her psychosexual development were she is discovering herself as a member of the female gender.

From what you posted I would guess she is still in the first phase and is acting the way she is because she does not know how to express it any other way other than to try and mimic her father in order to become more attractive to you.

It's only theory but may offer a different perspective on things. I hope that puts you at least a little at ease.

1

Edited: July 04, 2010 @ 01:53

vekta

,

#24

Jul 04, 2010 @ 01:46:29

deleted double post

0

Edited: July 04, 2010 @ 01:46

hugbug

Deleted

bugaboo avenue,

#25

Jul 04, 2010 @ 01:50:34

I hated dresses too. Some girls are tomboys and not into dressing up.

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chisa96

Supreme Goddess

Out in Nature, Wisconsin

#26

Jul 04, 2010 @ 03:56:25

@GSnap Said

I think maybe two people tops mentioned transgender. [smile]https://i.tfster.com/tfs/images/smilies/confused3.gif"> And of those two, they were just tossing it out there as a possibility not as a sure thing. Most here said tomboy or daddy's girl. Just sayin.

I was skimming.

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annski729

, United States (general)

#27

Jul 04, 2010 @ 04:02:38

I was the same way, and still am to a certain degree. There were times when it was frustrating growing up, but my mom supported me the whole time when others didn't. Looking back I really appreciate that, and I bet your daughter will too.

It's really quite early to be jumping to any sort of conclusion, though. Just be supportive and see how things pan out.

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GSnap

Over the Rainbow,

#28

Jul 04, 2010 @ 04:07:05

I'm just gonna toss this out there as a possibility. A lot of women are born with more aggressive or lets say, assertive personalities and they don't really subscribe to shopping at malls and talking on the phone all day in stereotypical female fashion, they actually enjoy being independent and enjoy doing a lot of things for themselves, and a lot of women like this started out in life as tomboys. I am one of those such women. I hated .. i mean HATED...and still do, the helpless female role. Lots of women do. Your daughter will probably just grow up to be one of those kind of girls.

And be proud of her. I bet she will grow up to make one hell of an impact on the world one day and defy stereotypes, and I bet she will refuse to sit on the back of the bus. LOL.

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ninozara

Cheshire, United Kingdom

#29

Jul 04, 2010 @ 04:35:48

You think you've got problems...I refused to wear CLOTHES!

But, I haven't grown up to be a nudist,

When I got older, and moved north, I still refused to wear dresses, I even got in trouble at school because I would only wear trousers (and girls weren't allowed then at that school).Let her do what she feels comfortable, and just be glad she isn't growing up too fast.

As for the Dad thing, him making it into a game is probably a factor, just explain to her about appropriate behaviour and get him to be sensible. I wanted to be like my Dad, not cause he was a boy or anything...because he was FUN! My Mum stayed at home, that meant she was the disciplinarian, she had to dress me, clean me, feed me, tell me off, she even home schooled me for a year...so when Dad got home it was like PLAY TIME! Could that be it with you?

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