I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will scoot my bottom along the gra** to rid myself of hangers-on.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or trashcan.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while Mommy is standing on a slippery gra** slope.



Author Unknown


van los piojos ausentes del niño pequeño que usted me incomoda

that was cool


Don't bitch when Dragon is around you wouldn't like me when you are bitching

funny