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Forum Index > News & Politics > Gender Issues
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treebee
sexual deviant
Hey that's my bike+
191331 points
39/F/In a zebra's anus, United King
Join Date: Oct 2005 | rebel heart/trust: i did say to get help then get on with life, sure after trauma such as rape we need counselling, support groups etc etc. So of course the people on your site are in great need of a shoulder to cry on, to get support and help and advice because they are in the stage where they need to connect with others who understand what they have been through.
Surely it is healthier to go through this stage and come out the other end and continue with as normal a life as possible rather than having to need life long support?
Unless of course your therapy is to start a support group.
My point is.. its better to overcome trauma, accept it happened, it wasnt your fault, you cant change it, life is short.. might as well enjoy it. Rather than spend the rest of your life with a thorn in your side. To me talking about the rape is a total waste of time, i dont want sympathy, i had counselling im over it, why let something that happened to me 22 years ago, that i couldnt help or stop, why let it rule/ruin the rest of my life? I wasted enough of my life over it, being the victim.
In short... s*** happens, and that might sound harsh and nasty but its true. Sooner you accept that you cant change it the sooner you can get on with life.
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trust
Meister
1322 points
35/F/, United Kingdom
Join Date: Oct 2007 | Im glad you can be that way..and that you have the ability to have that outlook..and feel you have worked through it enough to be able to just move on..i like nothing more than to have survivors join my site that get to that point..thats the main reason i started it to help people to reach that point
but there are some people who can't..there are people who have suffered multiple times..there are people left with effects from the one assault..there are things such as PTSD post traumatic stress disorder..panic attacks depression..DID dissociative identity disorder,ED eating disorders ..OCD's ...addictions ,these are all affects that can last a lifetime..and make it extremely hard fro anyone just to process and move on..i suffer from at least four of the above....there are people that suffer other things too..
like i said im really pleased for you..and love to hear of people who can get on with life and leave it behind like that..but some people are not able too..and i don't want people being made to feel a failure because they cannot necessarily do so..
treebee said:
rebel heart/trust: i did say to get help then get on with life, sure after trauma such as rape we need counselling, support groups etc etc. So of course the people on your site are in great need of a shoulder to cry on, to get support and help and advice because they are in the stage where they need to connect with others who understand what they have been through.
Surely it is healthier to go through this stage and come out the other end and continue with as normal a life as possible rather than having to need life long support?
Unless of course your therapy is to start a support group.
My point is.. its better to overcome trauma, accept it happened, it wasnt your fault, you cant change it, life is short.. might as well enjoy it. Rather than spend the rest of your life with a thorn in your side. To me talking about the rape is a total waste of time, i dont want sympathy, i had counselling im over it, why let something that happened to me 22 years ago, that i couldnt help or stop, why let it rule/ruin the rest of my life? I wasted enough of my life over it, being the victim.
In short... s*** happens, and that might sound harsh and nasty but its true. Sooner you accept that you cant change it the sooner you can get on with life. | | | | Edited: October 17, 2007 @ 09:13 |  |
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rainbowz09
General
382 points
24/F/karachi, Pakistan
Join Date: Sep 2007 | trust said:
I have to say even tho i have read many of your posts today and i have agreed with all your opinions with this one i really do disagree..i am admin and created the site that Rebel heart is referring to..and if you saw the damage done to these survivors and they are survivors NOT victims..of rape..childhood abuse, or domestic violence, molestation..
can u please tel me the site name.
"Be careful of the words you say,
Keep them short and sweet.
You never know, from day to day,
Which ones you'll have to eat." | | | |
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trust
Meister
1322 points
35/F/, United Kingdom
Join Date: Oct 2007 | rainbowz09 said:
can u please tel me the site name.
I will PM you it now..
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trust
Meister
1322 points
35/F/, United Kingdom
Join Date: Oct 2007 | arcades said:
Yes the most important thing is to get counseling.
As for what some of you are saying in reguards to victom survivor I would like to remind everyone that "survivor" is a term earned by processing what happened. Victom applies to the person who has not worked through it and it effects them advirsly as a result.
Wrong!!!
you are a survivor from the onset as you survived the ordeal and are still here nothing is earned..you just are a survivor for still being alive..whether you have worked through it or not..
I am a survivor NOT a Victim..as I am still here..fullstop.. | | | |
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odie
Über-Minister
16887 points
Deleted
Banned
107/F/toronto, Canada
Join Date: Sep 2007 | rainbowz09 said:
if a person has suffered such so to whom she should be talking to.coz parents most likely dont understand their kids
Parents want to know these things so they can help!
She should be seeing her own doctor for advise on her problems with dealing with it. | | | |
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arcades
Über-Minister
15762 points
26/M/Northbay, Canada
Join Date: Aug 2005 | trust said:
Wrong!!!
you are a survivor from the onset as you survived the ordeal and are still here nothing is earned..you just are a survivor for still being alive..whether you have worked through it or not..
I am a survivor NOT a Victim..as I am still here..fullstop..
Yes in terms of being alive after your ordeal without sucoming to madness they are survivors.
But in the professional terms at least here in canada one is a victim until you process your ordeal and start the healing process.
Also by definition of both words the accosted is both victim and survivor. | | | |
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Oct 17, 2007 @ 07:55:22
