I want horror stories people!!!

My plane was struck by lightening today and we had temporary engine lag.........TOP THAT!!!

I was in an airport bathroom and a urinal ate my hat, then burped.

we had a 7 hour delay for a 2 hour flight once... and my brother had food posining not nice...
umm

this one time coming back from cuba the plane took 6 attemps at getting off the run way by the 3rd one i wanted to get off...

I've never been on a plane

I have a great story.

I had just boarded a plane in Salt Lake City that was supposed to fly nonstop to New Orleans. I was coming home from Canada. I was 17.

So, the plane pulls out from the jetway and pauses during taxi for.. an unusually long time. The cabin temperature slowly increased over the course of 45 minutes from about 72 to about 92. After about an hour, the cabin started filling with smoke.

The stewardesses were nowhere to be found.

The captain finally came on and helpfully let us know that the aircraft was experiencing some technical issues and that we were to stay put for a bit and everything would be taken care of.

Well, I felt much better after that.

I also felt much better when I saw some obviously well qualified engineers dismantling the 737's starboard engine right next to my seat. I watched these guys take literally hundreds of pieces out of the engine while I stared at them, sweating my balls off from a combination of sweltering heat and unbridled fear.

So after about 3 hours of aircraft remanufacturing and heat exhaustion on this plane sitting 100 feet away from a perfectly good jetway, we actually took off. But instead of flying east to New Orleans, we flew west to Las Vegas because the plane lost too much fuel while broiling on the tarmac in the middle of the summer.

I guess that the Salt Lake City Airport doesn't have, you know, jet fuel on hand.

So there I am, bags in hand, in the Las Vegas airport after praying for a quiet death, something more along the lines of the aircraft exploding midair than tumbling down from 35,000 feet, for six straight hours. It then turns out that the next flight out isn't for another 16 hours.

I have to wait in the airport. And I'll be damned if I'm going to try to sleep with all my gadgets in this airport full of slot machines and hookers. So I have to force myself to stay up another 16 hours (mind you, it's almost midnight by now) sitting on a goddamn airport chair just to get on another f***ing plane.



What do I win?