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On July 01, 2021 Erimitus


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The mind of God, Antarctica
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Post digestive nuggets
TFS Journal
Memories
October 20, 2017 @ 07:32:51 am






I have memories. Most people do. Some of the memories are very pleasant and some of them are very unpleasant.

The pleasant memories seem to always lead to the unpleasant. I wonder if that happens to others.

The memory is like and impurity introduced into a collagen; the crystallization is four dimensional.

So I try to avoid memories. I Just focus on the now… I am not very good at it. You, (well I actually – I don’t know about you) where was I? Hmmm… Oh! I try to avoid memories and focus on the now. But that does not make any sense. The memories I have are happening in the now. Back to Hmmmm…..

Sensory perception tells me what I need to know about my environment. Memories come from neural networks that seem to activate spontaneously. Well, I try to remember stuff but frankly I am not very good at it when I am trying.

Memories that occur spontaneously just seem to happen. Probably some unconscious trigger. A technique to stop bad memories (i.e., the unpleasant ones) is to focus attention on something else as soon the memory enters the cognitive aspect of the mind.

Of course, it can be useful to focus on bad memories and attempt to understand what situation caused them, and then think of ways to avoid the situation in the future.
Set up a special time to focus on bad memories. Then when a bad memory seeps into consciousness, you can say to your self, “Self, think about the bad memory during the time set aside for it”. …then the bad memory is easier to get rid of.

I believe that it is best to avoid pain. Pain is an indication that something is wrong. Focusing on bad memories is like picking at a scab. The wound never heals. What to do?

Focusing on a bad memory [attempting to understand what situation caused it, and then think of ways to avoid those situations in the future] I constructed (in my mind) alternate scenarios with better outcomes.

And …and sometimes when I do this (maybe all the time – I don’t know) I construct so many alternate realities I can’t remember which one actually happened.

The past cannot un-happen. But …but my memory of the past can change. Or I can just suppress the memory and that seems to work too.


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Erimitus

New Post! October 20, 2017 @ 10:35:46 pm
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There are not trigger free zones. You can run but you cannot hide.


Electric_Banana

New Post! October 21, 2017 @ 01:43:03 pm
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I've lived through some VERY desperate times
Periods of months on end where I didn't know where I would be sleeping in the near future or if I would have food.

I lived in extreme uncertainty while, at the same time, trying to swallow back symptoms of schizophrenia and learning to accept an ever expanding awareness of synchronicity.

Where many other have had to be secured away in padded rooms I held back great panic and paranoia achieving a college certificate with a final C grade; being the only person to get a perfect score on a final exam for a classroom where I was the only one flunking. Also being the only person to pass my Progamming II class.

I came to NZ with about $350 in my pocket and customs took $200 of it on arrival in lieu of the two carton of cigarettes I brought with me from the states.

And still, now, I live as a freelancer each week, paycheck to paycheck, right down to the very last penny the night before my next pay.

My entire life since my father passed on, when I was seventeen, has been borrowed time on a wing and a prayer.

What I have learned is that we only acknowledge the bad and hard times we had because we foolishly suspected that a life based on survival of the fittest, requiring a*****es to s*** out our victims, was one sure to be filled with love and loyalty

We trust the mechanisms of our design and demand justice when those mechanisms (inevitably) fail in others. Our own broken minds misleading us into demanding far too much from the other broken minds around us.

We were not built with the capacity to be wise enough to understand that all of the injustices which we face were not intentional nor directed; our antagonists merely entangled and screaming in their own wires.

I think the best way to discard past bothers is to just simply remember this one Truth:

"Not my monkeys; not my circus."

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