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Ratty On November 08, 2021




So Cal, California
#856New Post! Feb 25, 2017 @ 05:30:56
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face"

LOL, stupid, but I still like it.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#857New Post! Feb 25, 2017 @ 05:41:19
what the different between an old lady and a horse?

the old nag riding the horse.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#858New Post! Feb 25, 2017 @ 14:47:34
how moses makes coffee?

he brew it!
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#859New Post! Feb 25, 2017 @ 14:50:00
why noah didn't let anybody played poker on the ark?

he was standing on the deck.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#860New Post! Feb 25, 2017 @ 17:19:44
i miswrote the last joke wrong, this is the right way, the joke go:

why noah didn't allow poker on the ark?

because he was holding the deck.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#861New Post! Apr 04, 2017 @ 17:51:07
an engineer design an new building to for new client.

he was an prefect architect and an skillful engineer. he design this prefect building. he order the supply, the cement, bricks, windows, everything, you need.

finally, the perfect building is built, but this perfect architect/ engineer had one problem with the building.

he found one brick that he calculate to part of the building. but this perfect skillfully architect/engineer didn't know to with one brick. he didn't need for the building.

he decide throw the one brick away.


one day on a train, a businessman was smoking a stinky cigar, and by him. he eating also a pickle with vinegar over the pickle. there an lady with a dog in her hands. she having problems with her dog, because the dog hate the smelling of vinegar of the pickle.

the lady said the man, " can you throw out your pickle the window, because my dog hate the smell of the vinegar of your pickle. " the man got piss off, what the lady just told him.

the man look at the dog and the lady, and told her, " i will not throw this pickle away, it cost me, a quarter. throw your dog out the window, before i'll throw this pickle out the window. "

now, the lady said the man with angry, " i never! "

the man said the lady, " what i see you of you, i can see why you never. "

then the lady really got more pissed off and she said to the man, " i told you throw out that pickle, i'll take out of your mouth now, and i'll throw it out the window myself! "

now, the man really angry at the lady, and looking at the dog, and said, " if you even ever touch my pickle, i'll throw your dog out the window!! "

then the lady got up from her seat, and grab the pickle right the man's mouth, and threw out the window, then she sat down again.

less a minute later, the man got from his seat, and grab the dog, and threw the dog out the window.

five minutes later, with the train running down the tracks at 30 miles an hour. the dog jump back on the train, and head back to them.

the man was really surprise to see the dog, and the lady was soo happy to the dog.

the dog had something in it's mouth.

do you know what in it's mouth?

no, silly, it wasn't the pickle!

it was a the brick!
mrmhead On about 22 hours ago




NE, Ohio
#862New Post! Apr 07, 2017 @ 00:23:40
I was going to buy a watch on ebay ...
... but it wasn't the right time
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#863New Post! Apr 07, 2017 @ 11:53:42
a man always look through fields, to find a four leaf clover. but he still had no good luck.

one day, the man got good luck that day, and found a four leaf clover. then he had a bad luck, when he pick up the four leaf clover from a field.

when he was picking up the clover, a four wheel truck ran over him.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#864New Post! Apr 23, 2017 @ 19:10:23
a man eating at a restaurant, and all sudden, he wave down a waiter. the waiter come over, and look at him.

the man said to the waiter show him a button in his hand, the man said to the waiter, " I found this button in my salad! "

the waiter look down at the button, and then he smile at the man and said, " it is part of the dressing, sir! "
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#865New Post! May 15, 2017 @ 01:05:20
if you lock your wife and your dog in your car's truck. then you open it, which of the two of them would more happy to see you?
mrmhead On about 22 hours ago




NE, Ohio
#866New Post! May 15, 2017 @ 01:25:16
@twilitezone911 Said

if you lock your wife and your dog in your car's truck. then you open it, which of the two of them would more happy to see you?



Just saw that on the tube ... was that Larry the Cable Guy? - can't remember
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#867New Post! May 15, 2017 @ 01:44:35
@mrmhead Said

Just saw that on the tube ... was that Larry the Cable Guy? - can't remember



i am not sure where this joke came from, i have heard before the joke somewhere.

about 30 minutes ago, i was watching on my dvds, the lastest episode of " real time with bill maher". bill told the joke.

i thought it was pretty funny, that bill told it, because one panelist was married, and he wonder how would reacted to it. she was laughing hard at the joke.

since i am not married, you probably are married. i am sorry! you that would said that your wife would be happy, and your dog would be angry.

it could be worst afterward in months later, that your wife and your were happy to be with each others, and they were angry at you.

your wife and your dog is taking you to court for divorce.

in your divorce's agreement, that you are agreed to be at your wife and your dog's marriage as his best man.
mrmhead On about 22 hours ago




NE, Ohio
#868New Post! May 15, 2017 @ 11:36:50
@twilitezone911 Said


about 30 minutes ago, i was watching on my dvds, the lastest episode of " real time with bill maher". bill told the joke.



That must have been it - I watched it too.
mrmhead On about 22 hours ago




NE, Ohio
#869New Post! May 16, 2017 @ 20:54:11
Q: What did Trump say to Turkish President Erdogan when they met for lunch?

A: "Hey! You'll never guess what I heard at today's security brief! ..."
mrmhead On about 22 hours ago




NE, Ohio
#870New Post! May 25, 2017 @ 00:34:04
OMG! Don't know if it was meant as a joke, or referring to something that actually happened...(and I paraphrase)

"If you can play guitar on stage at a nudist camp, You've got Focus !!

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