The Little Aussie Soapbox

You know you're Australian if …

- You know the meaning of the word "girt".
- You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
- You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
- When you hear that a seppo "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
- You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
- You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
- You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
- You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
- You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
- You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
- You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
- You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
- You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
- You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
- You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
- You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
- You believe a hamburger should come with pineapple and beetroot.
- You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
- You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
- You wear uggies outside the house.
- You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
- Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
- You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
- You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
- You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".
- You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
- Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
- You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".
- You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
- You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
- When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

Really good Aussie Open final btw Federer and Nadal. Two out and out champions. Two blokes who set such a great example. Both always display such good sportsmanship, something that is increasingly lacking in modern sport.

It's been 50 years since the last man was legally executed in Australia. All the focus in the media has been on the bloke who was hanged and how his family was affected. Of course there is only a passing reference to the man he murdered, and no mention as to how his death impacted upon his wife and children.

Bail laws in Australia are a bloody joke. The focus as ever is doing what is perceived to be in the best interests of the accused whilst not giving a stuff about the general public.

I do acknowledge the presumption of innocence but at the same time the rights of the individual need to be weighed up against the rights of the many.

If for example someone is arrested and charged in the belief that they have committed an offence that involved the use, or the threatened use, of potentially lethal weapons then the onus should be on them (and not the crown) re proving that they don't present an ongoing risk. Same deal if the arrested person is accused of committing an offence that resulted in significant physical injury to one or more individuals.

If the person who has been arrested and charged has any prior convictions for one or more serious indictable offences then bail should be automatically denied. Same deal if they have ever breached their terms of bail.

As for young offenders, if you commit adult offences then you should expect adult sentences.

It's well past time we stopped focusing on what is deemed to be in the best interests of those who break the law and instead started paying more attention to what is in the best interests of those who obey the law.

Good to hear that the Sunshine State didnt record a single drowning on any of it's beaches over the summer.

At a local bar in Tamworth, the owner & bartender, was so sure that he was the strongest man around, that he offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze two more drops of juice out of it, would win the money.

Many people had tried, over the years: weightlifters, longshoremen, football players, etc., but nobody had ever been able to do it.

One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit. He sat down, ordered a glass of draft, & started looking around the bar. After reading the sign on the wall about the lemon challenge, he said in a meek voice: "I was just reading your sign, and I'd like to try the bet."

After the laughter in the pub had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon and squeezed the heck out of it. He then handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow. The Crowd's laughter turned to total silence ....as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the guy his $1,000, and then asked little man: "Do you mind if I ask what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

The little fellow quietly replied: "No, I work for the Australian Tax Office".

A very small win for common sense with Queensland University of Technology administration officer Cindy Prior being denied leave to appeal her racial discrimination case against three students.

Miss Prior attempted to sue three QUT students under section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act for $250,000 after they posted comments on Facebook about being asked to leave an Indigenous-only computer room.

Federal Court Justice John Dowsett dismissed Miss Prior's case in November on the grounds it did not have reasonable prospects of successfully bringing a racial hatred case.

On Friday, Justice Dowsett denied her leave to appeal his decision.

She is now facing having to pay costs of up to six figures to students Calum Thwaites, Jackson Powell and Alex Wood.

Section 18C makes it unlawful for anyone to "offend, insult, humiliate or intimidate" another person or group on the grounds of race, colour or ethnicity.

Miss Prior had argued she was unable to continue working face-to-face with white people following a series of Facebook posts made after Mr Wood was asked to leave an Indigenous-only computer lab at QUT in 2013.

"Just got kicked out of the unsigned indigenous computer room. QUT stopping segregation with segregation," he wrote.

The post attracted a number of responses, including one from Mr Powell who wrote: "I wonder where the white supremacist computer lab is."

Disgusted by the government's new legislation that will give them the power to disclose the private information of serving and ex-serving servicemen if they essentially complain about the DVA. Bastards.

Just when you thought the PC madness of feminists couldn't get any more absurd along comes their latest campaign which is designed to have at least 50% of Victoria's pedestrian crossing signs depicting a female. Apparently the stick figure we currently have represents a male and is responsible for suppressing women! Of course not sure how the crew cut, trouser wearing lesbians will react to an images of sheilas wearing dresses. And of course not only are the current red and green figures slim but so are the new sheila ones. Surely this is also offensive. How about representing those oppressed people whose body shape isn't reflected by the red and green figures? And obviously these figures are Caucasian which makes them racist, so surely we need figures that represent Aboriginals, Muslims, Africans, Asians etc etc etc!!!

Nice to see the fascist Left acting true to form in the west by trying to stop people from meeting or listening to those who hold views to which they dont agree.

Interesting how the BBC recently referred to an Indian athlete as 'Muslim' when running a story claiming he was the victim of Trump's 'new immigration policy', and yet less than a month later they referred to the same man as not a Muslim but an Indian after he was arrested for sex crimes!

So now we got gay marriage supporters boycotting Coopers beer because of a video they made with 2 people debating gay marriage, sudden;y it seem's Coopers doesn't support gay marriage so pubs are now taking their beers off tap. This despite the fact they had both sides of the argument in their video.

But nope, the do gooders out there just focus on the side of the video that disagree's with their views and something apparently has to be done about it....here's the most offensive video you would ever see.

What else would you expect from the fascist left? This video is actually a great example of how people should conduct themselves. It is a great example of two people with very different, very passionate, views showing respect to each other. I particularly liked it when the host said to the bloke who is pro ssm that the bloke who opposes changes to the marriage act must be homophobic. His response was intelligent and reasoned. I'm sure as a result that the fascist left have already disowned him!

Anyway, tomorrow I will call in to the bottle-o and buy some Coopers!

So Turnbull wants to send ('encourage' migrants to rural towns to try and slow down the increase in house prices in the big capitals. Of course doing so will simply ramp up house prices in the country. But what do they care. We already get druggies and a variety of crooks being sent from the cities to the country. In every state, every party, state or federal...it's just do whatever seems to best serve the captial cities and stuff rural Australians.