""I am a deeply superficial person" ~a.w."  JorieJukebox
More Pics
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Right Here, Not There,
Joined: Dec 2009 |
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| While, I am ever so thankful that I got away from meth, (15 years!) I saw a photo the other day that disgusted me... And that photo was of me. It was right before or right after I got clean... I'm kind of leaning towards right before, but I can't really remember for sure... Go figure.
I looked SO BAD. I was skin and bones. My face... UGH... I was smiling for the camera, but my eyes... MAN, my eyes... Sunken, dull, almost blank...
I remember my brother coming home from Job Corps, and the look on his face when he saw me... A kind of WTF shock and sadness came over his face, and he hugged me and told me I looked like s***. He picked me up (My usual body type is...wide, lol.) He practically tossed me over his shoulder, and spun me. He shouldn't have been able to do that, was his point.
That pic just took me back in such a vivid and shocking way, and multiplied my thankfulness.
I still see people I used to use with, and it's sadly obvious they are still there. I've lost more friends than I'd like to think about right now...
BUT I GOT AWAY. I might have been homeless and hit rock bottom and been so f***ing lost...
BUT I GOT AWAY.
Every day I am so thankful for that. | |
Ratty
| Jeezus, this post got me teary eyed.
I'm glad you pulled yourself up and out of that mess. Meth is the devil, it steals your humanity, your sense of right and wrong, it's a horrible f***ing drug. |
adrinachrome
| | Congratulations. Meth is a hard one to kick. You should be impressed with yourself and proud. I am, good job. |
DiscordTiger
The Queen of Random
 Administrator | | Jorie, you really are an awesomely amazing person! |
JorieJukebox
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| @adrinachrome Said 
Congratulations. Meth is a hard one to kick. You should be impressed with yourself and proud. I am, good job.
@DiscordTiger Said
Jorie, you really are an awesomely amazing person!
Thanks so much, both of you... I think positive reinforcement is important for people, no matter how long they have behind them in addiction. I don't go for all the NA AA stuff, but have nothing against it, it just wasn't for me.
Not going to say I don't have my vices, or that I'm perfect in any way, but I do strive everyday to be better than I was the day before, and to be a Mom that my boys are proud to have. |
chaski
Stalker
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But you got away, and, if I am correctly following your posting over the last year or so, things have turned around in a good way and you are in a good place...working on a good place...
Well done!
Continue to grow and share! |
JorieJukebox
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| Decided to post this on THIS entry...
I got off f***ing METH. I still know people I used with that didn't.
So WHY is alcohol so hard? Why can I climb out of the meth pipe, but find it so hard to climb out of the damn bottle????
I'm climbing out again, it certainly isn't my first attempt... I need to just BREAK it.
Please let me win this time.
It sucks feeling this weak. |
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Persepective... 
May 29, 2016 @ 04:02:42 am
