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sketchlord123 On July 14, 2013




, Indiana
#436New Post! Dec 15, 2011 @ 01:31:19
@misunderstood Said



It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the group have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

SO:

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: When the f*** do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f***ing way!!

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be s***ting me?

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a s***.

TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a s***.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f***ing problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f***?!?!

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure I can implement this.
INSTEAD OF: f*** it, it won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF: He's hasn't got a f***ing clue.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat s*** and die motherf***er.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Sucked in f***wit.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF: f*** it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass!

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Blow me.

TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another f***ing meeting!!!

TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a s***.

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a f***ing prick.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball busting b****.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f*** you're doing.




Dude, niiiiiiiiice. I 'd so hard!!!
Fella On April 20, 2012




Brandon,
#437New Post! Mar 30, 2012 @ 20:19:16
What do ya call a female raccoon ?

A racc***.
Jennifer1984 On July 20, 2022
Returner and proud





Penzance, United Kingdom
#438New Post! May 16, 2012 @ 09:07:18
I just heard that one of the most famous names in hairdressing has died.

Poor Vidal. I didn't expect him to die sassoon.

.
Commander4th On May 31, 2021




, United Kingdom
#439New Post! Jul 09, 2012 @ 17:47:23
OK ill start the ball rolling, what were the 2 queer ghost doing in the dark room together?..... Trying to put the willies up each other
RockWall On November 24, 2012




Finger Lakes, New York
#440New Post! Aug 31, 2012 @ 21:52:52
@Ko Said

Redneck Hero

Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "'Forty Niners' fan saves friend from vicious animal", he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Niners fan," the boy replies. "'Oakland Raiders' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," says the reporter as he writes in his notebook. "I'm not a Raiders fan either," the boy says. "Then what are you?" the reporter askes. "I'm a Cowboys fan!!!" the boy says proudly. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet!"


Hahaha! Very funny!
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#441New Post! Oct 30, 2015 @ 04:55:28
late night, in a dark of town, a couple is walking down the street. a guy jumps out a alley with a gun in his hand. the guy said to the husband, " your money or your wife? " few minutes goes by, the wife starts looking the gun, and then her husband. the guy with the gun to said to the husband, " what take so long, your money or your wife? " and then the husband said to the guy, " I am still thinking about it. "
Sedrick On May 21, 2016




austin, Texas
#442New Post! May 20, 2016 @ 01:43:44
I read today that they've found a cure for dyslexia , that was music to my arse.
Mankysparrow On April 26, 2017




London, United Kingdom
#443New Post! Dec 05, 2016 @ 18:28:03
a man hired a cheap £10 hooker, when he got home he found he had crabs, so he went back to complain, the hooker told him straight, what did you expect for a tenner, f***ing lobster.
shadowen On March 22, 2024




Bunyip Bend, Australia
#444New Post! Nov 14, 2017 @ 18:27:36
Doctor: "What seems to be the problem"
Patient: "Doctor, I broke my arm in three places"
Doctor: "Well don't go to those places"
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#445New Post! Nov 14, 2017 @ 22:50:59
@shadowen Said

Doctor: "What seems to be the problem"
Patient: "Doctor, I broke my arm in three places"
Doctor: "Well don't go to those places"



twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#446New Post! Nov 14, 2017 @ 22:56:49
@Wellard Said

A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.

"Morning!" he said.

The other man replies, "No, just having a s***."


MisterX On August 10, 2022




Saint Petersburg,
#447New Post! Nov 27, 2017 @ 22:20:59
A Father's Last Request

A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.

The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son my child?"

The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."

With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#448New Post! Nov 27, 2017 @ 22:40:37
@MisterX Said

A Father's Last Request

A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.

The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son my child?"

The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."

With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."


chaski On about 13 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#449New Post! Nov 27, 2017 @ 23:23:36



You haven’t mentioned my blue dress in...decades...
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#450New Post! Nov 27, 2017 @ 23:49:23
@chaski Said

You haven’t mentioned my blue dress in...decades...


i thought it about last month, i picture on stella, twilite's ex wife, you saw stella, you why i said haven't anything.

exactly, you hardly mention yourself, once it's awhile, funny. then, it getting boring.
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